Are you serious?
Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoJihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoDo I come knocking on your door and wake you up at 7am. If I want to be a part of your religion don't you think I would be the one contacting you? You people should take the hint the first time and not come back again or next time I will let my dogs loose on you.
Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, October 6, 2007
29 Comments
Add a commentI wrote this poem and posted it on my door for the likes of so-called witnesses and other, bothersome, boneheads:
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Krishna With His Butterballs
If I do not know you, you probably should go away,
as you have no reason to be at my door,
other than to save my soul, borrow something,
sell me some sugary treat, or to disturb my work and meditation in some way.
Take this as a hint – you will not be greeted,
whether I am home or not.
I may be watching you through the lens in the door or drawing a picture of you, or maybe, just maybe, writing a poem about you while you wait for me answer your ring.
Do not leave anything at the door unless it was ordered from a supplier or is a bona fide delivery.
By leaving anything at my door, you are accepting my contract to bill you for disposal and handling. the minimum charge is twelve dollars.
This goes for you, too, Krishna.
The Management
By tjp on Sunday, October 7, 2007 at 10:55am
I (+)ed it, but it's actually spelled Jehovah's Witnesses.
By andy on Sunday, October 7, 2007 at 2:19pm
We've corrected his dumbery.
By Skully on Sunday, October 7, 2007 at 7:25pm
Jehovah's Witnesses don't go door to door at 7AM.
And if it WAS a witness that was at your door at 7AM, he/she was not typical.
We don't even MEET to get organized for the morning until 9 or 9:30. And then, many go and get coffee before they go door to door to allow a little more time for people to wake up.
Anyhow, we go door to door because of Matthew 28:19, 20 which says, in part, "Go, therefore, and make disciples ..." It doesn't say, "Sit around, therefore, and wait for disciples to fall in your lap."
All you have to do is say, "I'm not interested..." and we'll move on.
By Sean McGee on Monday, October 8, 2007 at 5:17pm
Hey Jehovah,
Question for you.. Tell us about 1914? Its time to wake up and see the farce that is your cult.
By Rolleyes on Monday, October 8, 2007 at 11:20pm
"Go, therefore, and make disciples ..."
Could this not merely mean go forth and make rumpy pumpy, rather than go forth and subvert the innocent and weak of will?
When I am in my house I only want those whom I invite there to come a knocking. If I am out and about in town, then I am fair (if not slightly annoyed) game for random people coming up to me to express their beliefs.
It's like a biblical plague, you have to make a mark on your door else your first born will be taken!
p.s. to be fair to the Jehovahs this could apply to ANY door to door person. It's just Physical spam, spam in my e-mail, spam in the post, spam on the phone and spam Door to Door. Thank the devil we don't have telepathy!
By Anony Mouse on Tuesday, October 9, 2007 at 10:17am
I am not religious and I am not secular either! The popularity of this Jihad causes me concern, even though I am not a Jehovah's Witness.
First of all, I don't believe you when you say that a Jehovah's Witness came knocking on your door at 7am. I consider that you are being economical with the truth in order to stimulate more people to vote for your jihad.
Why not tell the truth over the time of a visit? Your point would still have been made if you had said the visit was at 3pm.
Secondly, it is irresponsible of you to indicate that you would set your dogs on to them. You yourself may well not do this, but some simple-minded person, who is a bit impulsive, knowing the popularity of your jihad, might well do just that.
If it occurred, I am confident that the judiciary would incarcerate that dog-owner for malicious and unnecessary damage to members of the public knocking on his or her door.
Furthermore, I hope that someone would sue you if a link between dog damage and this jihad could be established.
Thirdly, this is a holy jihad! Not a canine jihad! I am removing a vote from you out of disgust with the popularity of you jihad.
By Simon Peter on Tuesday, October 9, 2007 at 1:17pm
and well, like it not was Peter who did deny jesus in the end anyway ?
i add a vote for your freedom of speach :D
well i think its annoying if people goes from door to door at 7 am, at that point im leaving my house, and if any... ANY interupts me, i wouild take a bat ,and slam them down, cause i gota a buss to catch and a education to take.
also, you dont see preist from the christian church, going from door to door and asking for members. relegion is free, therefore, people walking around from door to door to get members more sound like sales men to me, than anything else.(except for donation to red cross and likely. as i think people should do a bit better about that, we play like 100 DKR here, and still, the results is aboud the number of the population, if people just gave 1 dkr, or 2 as would dubble it, or just a cola bottle, it's the same price. it would defentletly do a big difference)
By Elias on Wednesday, October 10, 2007 at 5:47pm
I like pizza.
By Sam on Wednesday, October 10, 2007 at 9:31pm
Yeah! Education can be free but you got to go and get it. It doesn't just leap into your head!
So, you got to find about religion because, like education, it might do you good. And you don't know till you listen to others or read what they've written.
What are you doing wasting your time at 7am getting a bat and hitting them down. You'll miss your buss and be late for your education. Just be polite and walk on!
Anyhow, no religious person ever came to your house at 7am and never will!
What if the postman came at 7am just as you were leaving to get your buss, and he wanted you to sign for something. Would you get your bat and slam him down? Then, you'd never get your education because you'd be in prison in the same cell as, guess who, a Jehovah's Witness!
Talk to them nicely at 3pm.
By Simon Peter on Thursday, October 11, 2007 at 6:03am
what the hell
krishna with his butterballs ?!
...hindus dont try to convert people
so before you start talking get your shit straight
By Anonymous on Thursday, October 11, 2007 at 11:23pm
By "Krishna" I think he means Hare Krishnas. As to the "Watchtower" here is a good link http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2183288529160546808
By Awn on Friday, October 12, 2007 at 1:19pm
Jehovah's Witnesses are Mother Fuckers.
By Lawrence Tureaud on Saturday, October 13, 2007 at 11:45am
Thou shallst not spread religious spam! Who wants to believe should be allowed to do so, but a simple "no" MUST be enough to get rid of missionary behaviour.
By Religion? o la la on Tuesday, November 13, 2007 at 9:50am
how is this different from spam? if i want it, i'd opt-in, and i don't really care if some dude (Matthew 28:19, 20 in this case) says you should come after me.
By spandana on Thursday, November 15, 2007 at 2:17am
KA-FUCKING-BOOM go the fuckers.
That really made my day.
By Anonymous on Saturday, December 8, 2007 at 7:41pm
There is only one GOD and that is Jehovah. You will have to accept this one day. I don't like the blasphemously named Jehovahs' Witnesses because they do not do any good for those who seek Jehovah (or GOD the Father, Yahweh or Allah or your preferred name for him) and they believe in a world government. This goes against the teachings of the 3 books - old, new testament & koran.
By Anonymous on Friday, February 15, 2008 at 2:32am
There is only one GOD and that is Jehovah. You will have to accept this one day. I don't like the blasphemously named Jehovahs' Witnesses because they do not do any good for those who seek Jehovah (or GOD the Father, Yahweh or Allah or your preferred name for him) and they believe in a world government. This goes against the teachings of the 3 books - old, new testament & koran.
By Anonymous on Friday, February 15, 2008 at 2:36am
Jehovah is the name of The true God. And He asked his witnesses to tell the truth of Him and warning everyone about his anger day. If you don't like them and their news, is all up to you. But when armageddon comes, you will realize their kindness to warn you. They even sacrifice their time and money to come to your house.
But when that day comes, it will be too late for you to regret. You might looking for them. But you won't find them. Because there will be a time when Jehovah will ask them to stop witnessing. Means, the time for you to listen and act is terminated.
By Anonymous on Monday, March 10, 2008 at 4:40am
Jehovah's Witnesses beliefs:
A) They are at your door to recruit you for enslavement to their watchtower corporation,they will say that "we are just here to share a message from the Bible" this is deception right off.
B) Their 'message' is a false Gospel that Jesus had his second coming in 1914.The problem with this is it's not just a cute fairy tale,Jesus warned of the false prophets who would claim "..look he is here in the wilderness,or see here he is at the temple..."
C) Their anti-blood transfusion ban has killed hundreds if not thousands
D) once they recruit you they will "love bomb" you in cult fashion to also recruit your family & friends or cut them off. There are many more dangers,Jehovah's Witnesses got a bad rap for good and valid reasons.
99% of the world has rejected the teachings of the Watchtower Jehovah’s Witnesses, the darker truth is they are a destructive and oppressive organization.
--
Danny Haszard Jehovah's Witness X 33 years http://www.freeminds.org
By Danny Haszard on Thursday, March 13, 2008 at 9:18am
I am a jehovah's witness and i do not go round at 7am on the doors. I go out in the afternoon. And it is your choice if u dont want to know. It gives people an opportunity if they are interested. I am very sorry if jehovahs witnesses have knocked on ur door at 7am.
By mandy on Sunday, April 6, 2008 at 1:32pm
hey jw are a pain they wont take no for a freaking answer i have said no 30 times already and they still come back what shall i do ?
By hey on Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 5:19pm
I did talk to Simon Peter,when I was at the age of 6 years old.I made a deal with Jehovah,and ever since I have been a BADASS.If you are jealous,that Jesus did not die on a cross,please feel free to call me at(706)226-9708.
By Rodney Bonds on Sunday, February 1, 2009 at 11:11am
Well I grew up in the religion and its definitely not a cult. There goal is to live life by bible guidelines to the T. Its all the close minded immoral worldy people that just cant sit down shut up and really take in the truth that jws are spreading thats the problem. Ask any witness what gods intentions are for them and they will tell you. Let me tell you it aint the world earth or life that we live in today!
By Cameron on Wednesday, July 21, 2010 at 2:23pm
Jehovah's Witnesses are actively anti-intellectual. Less than 10% of their members have a college education, and the morons actively try to discourage their members from being intelligent.
That's a significant part of why I hate them.
By Katharine on Monday, May 23, 2011 at 11:20am
Hey, sometimes they come here at my boarding house at 7am! And it's freakin' annoying because I was still sleepin' and I wasn't even answering the door, because I know that I didn't invite someone. But there they are, bangin' my door with there loud voices. I even covered my window so that they couldn't see the inside of the house if there were someone inside!
By Someone on Saturday, January 19, 2013 at 6:41am
Hey, sometimes they come here at my boarding house at 7am! And it's freakin' annoying because I was still sleepin' and I wasn't even answering the door, because I know that I didn't invite someone. But there they are, bangin' my door with there loud voices. I even covered my window so that they couldn't see the inside of the house if there were someone inside!
By Someone on Saturday, January 19, 2013 at 6:44am
Jehovah's Witnesses may be a real disturbance to many but believe me it is not fun to be the ones going to the door to face rejection on a regular basis.
It is a belief and therefore will prove itself right or wrong.
By JOEL DONNENWIRTH on Monday, August 18, 2014 at 2:06pm
Jehovah's Witnesses may be a real disturbance to many but believe me it is not fun to be the ones going to the door to face rejection on a regular basis.
It is a belief and therefore will prove itself right or wrong.
By JOEL DONNENWIRTH on Monday, August 18, 2014 at 2:06pm