A jihad against Sheryl Crow

Sheryl Crow

You think people should limit themselves to a single square of toilet paper?! Well I'm happy your cute and dainty ruby star fruit of an anus is so low maintenance. Try cleaning peanut butter out of a shag carpet with a single square, and then you'll get an idea of what it's like in my world. My weekends sometimes consist of a fifth of tequila and deep fried bar food, of which my ass promptly transforms my toilet into something resembling the after math of dropping an M80 into a bowl of brownie batter. Sometimes I'll use a whole role within a couple sittings, just to clean up the blast radius of the angry and explosive action that came violently bursting out of my back end. Sometimes, I won't stop wiping until it BLEEDS. That's how you know for sure you're done. So back off my Charmin you hippie.
Declared by Josh on Monday, October 8, 2007