A jihad against Stefan (the man with a thousand bicycles)

Stefan (the man with a thousand bicycles)

A different bicycle every other day, a different cell phone and every single one of them just a pile of junk you got from someone you know. Stop being so goddamn fickle. And sneaky. We're supposed to be friends.

You offer to share a joint, which is about the size of a thumbnail, and say that we can put one end each in our mouths and toke from it at the same time. Another time you get a long string of cheese and put it in your mouth then offer me the other end.

You tell me that because I'm younger than you (by 2 years) I have far less experience than you and things are more symbolic to me. As if we all gain some kind of rare knowledge in our early 20s. I'm not stupid, stop trying to be devious about your intentions.

You brought me to your grandmother's for lunch and want me to come to dinner to meet your parents, and for what? So that you can pretend you're normal, that you have a girlfriend? Because you tell them something different from the reality?

You encourage me to speak my mind yet when I confront you you try to change the topic. Then the next morning you knock on my door asking me if you can drink your coffee in my room because the kitchen is cold (despite the fact that your room is the better heated of the two). Then you make me coffee with whipped cream and the works, and sit at my feet like some kind of dog.

I almost feel sorry for you.
Declared by Adobo Fiend on Tuesday, March 18, 2008