Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI was parked there first. If you didn't want to be "forced to crawl out of the passenger's side" of your car, maybe you shouldn't have parked next to my "crooked ass".
And by the way, I was within the white lines by at least six inches on both sides, so apparently you're the one who needs to "learn to...
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Declared by E-man on Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Her songs are so catchy! I can't stop listening and as soon as I do stop I can't get it all out of my head.
It's impossible for me to study or concentrate in my classes because I'm too busy tapping my foot and reciting the words to "Bossy" to myself.
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Declared by Tab on Monday, September 17, 2007
Thanks, you big fat animal. Thanks for hunting and killing a rabbit. Thank you for proceeding to bring it up onto the deck, later to destroy, and spread the joy around for Derek and I to pick it up.
I hate you, my dog.
I now have a homemade rabbit foot.
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Declared by Kristin on Sunday, September 16, 2007
What the heck is wrong with you? I hope you get fired...soon. No one cares if you think you're working too hard - especially not your customers and double especially not when you only have four tables to wait on. I think we all appreciate what a hard job being a waiter is - we don't need to hear it from you,...
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Declared by Daniel on Sunday, September 16, 2007
Let's get over it already. It's not funny anymore. If I have to see one more cat staring at a computer screen and saying something stupid and easy about WoW, I might have to remove myself from the internet altogether. You can NOT has cheezburger!
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Declared by Evan on Saturday, September 15, 2007
Out there on the corner every day and night my Ho's never bring in as much money as they should! They're not shaking that ass like they should. Always out back hitting the pipe instead of riding the pole to make me that money.
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Declared by Pimp on Friday, September 14, 2007
Get. Out. Of. My. WAY!!! Why are you all awake and driving this early in the morning? This is my one chance to make it to the office in a reasonable amount of time and you're ruining it!!! There's no reason why it should take me 1.5 hours to drive 28 miles at 5AM...
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Declared by Dave on Friday, September 14, 2007
Seriously... explicitly state a body background color in your css... Not everyone has their shit set to white.
Get with the times MAN.
J.O.Y.
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Declared by Steve on Thursday, September 13, 2007
A jihad on you, antichrist! I know you're out there, plotting your world domination. Maybe you're just a tiny baby right now - who knows? If you are, you better hope I don't find out about it. I'll punch your wee face like nobody's watching. Watch your back, antichrist! I'm coming after you!
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Declared by Carlos on Thursday, September 13, 2007
We (Jihad on You!) got rejected for Google Adsense because of "sensitive content" issues. I guess this proves it - Google has absolutely no sense of humor! Jihad on you!
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Declared by Skully on Thursday, September 13, 2007
Damn you, slightly obscured and wobbly mixed-cap text! I thought you wanted XogH8, but no... you wanted x0gHB!!! Horse farts!!!
All I wanted to do was buy my front-row Nickelback tickets, but after two hours, you've relegated me to nosebleed status. I'm a rocker, not friggin' Robert Langdon!!!
Was...
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Declared by Todd E on Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Why must shitbags who have no regards for human life prey on other shitbags with AK-47 "choppers" and other assault weapons? Can't you savages battle it out with fist, spears and rocks like in the old days? If you are going to walk up and literally blast half of your "enemy's" head off with a 12-guage...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Listen, asshat. I have a news flash for you.
1) Just because I make your coffee, doesn't make you better than me.
2) If I hold out my hand for the money, don't throw it on the counter, tell me to pick it up and not expect me to throw your change back down the same way you did to me.
3) Your Armani...
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Declared by A lowly coffee peon on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I hate the person that came up with the expression, "you get what you pay for" because they're so damn right.
However in my line of work, I get what my boss pays for, which in most cases leaves me with pieces of shit I have to train, who barely know their own ass from a hole in the ground!
Why can't he...
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Declared by Rich Rod on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I'd like to know who the ass clown is that decides when to paint lines on the road? Today, as I'm driving to work in pouring down rain, the yellow center line is running to the shoulder of the road, like shit running down your leg after a nasty SHART! My only thoughts are the environment as paint pools on...
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Declared by Rich Rod on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
You are really good at communicating with computers however you come off as a jack ass to everyone around you. Why can't you give more than a two word answer to a question you didn't bother to listen to? You treat the developers like they are beneath you on your pedestal as you smell like ass and never...
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Declared by Jacin on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Your "privacy policy" link doesn't work. JIHAD ON YOU!
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Declared by Richard Fitzwell on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
You are invented to make an application seem as if it has been through several revisions even though it still throws random errors.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
To everyone at the wine tasting table at last weekend's wedding:
All of you were gushing about the wine selection and how delicious and wonderful it was. Bullshit! It was disgusting because wine is always disgusting. It tastes like chemicals.
When you say you "love" a glass of wine, aren't you really...
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Declared by Ashley on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I'm sure you make enough money that you don't need to charge me for rescheduling my appointment. Your office is ugly and disorganized and you need to turn your hearing aids up. How are you supposed to be a therapist when you can't even understand what your patients are saying, you geriatric mess? Your breath...
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Declared by Rebecca on Tuesday, September 11, 2007