Are you serious?
Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoJihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoCatan is a nice person and a nice dad but he has such a bad humour and is stressed all the time.Also he doesnt like pure, so we declare a Jihad on him
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, January 1, 2010
My eyes are NOT fluttering because of a habit. I'll tell you what's obviously a habit in this house; Fucking blaming everybody when really what's to fucking blame is the fucking amount of heavy metals in this fucking fucked up country!
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Declared by Probably Dieing of Mercury or Lead Poisoning on Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Dearest mummy,
I'm sick and fuging tried of your bullcrap obbsession with searching for the slut my father is cheating on you with on myspace and making me search for her and spy on her as well....wasn't it you who said you wwouldn't give a damn if he did? SHUT UP AND MOVE ON ALREADY DAMMIT!!!...
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Declared by Dearest daughter on Sunday, November 22, 2009
hypocritical assholes! you both piss me the fuck off. you cry when you find out that i' moving out in a year, and then accuse me of bullshit that isnt even true. fuck you both, and get your shit straight before you open your damn mouths.
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Declared by pissed off on Tuesday, September 8, 2009
You punish me for exppressing myself then when I defend myself you smack me? What kind of mother are you? Jihad on your fat ass.
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Declared by Cassie on Monday, September 7, 2009
let me fucking drive, i don't want to be stuck here with your lame ass all day
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Declared by jman on Sunday, July 26, 2009
JIHAD ON YOU FOR MAYBE MAKING HER MOVE TO BLOOMINGTON!
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Declared by Anna on Monday, July 20, 2009
He ruined fathers day by being a whiny little bitch, and the next time I see him, I feel like I might just end up beating the shit out of him.
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 21, 2009
Jihad on you, you miserable cocksucker. I fucking hate you for being such a lazy self centered loser pig who never learned how to treat women and talks shit about my best friend because she wants nothing to do with you, she knows what a fucking worthless piece of shit you are! Now that your miserable...
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, May 18, 2009
Emily, praise Allah that he sent me a vision last night in the midst of my drunken stupor that revealed the innermost workings of your maniacal brain. This morning, with head pounding due to the prior night's overindulgence, I spoke with the mullahs regarding you. They agreed that you are an idiot!
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Declared by Omar The Dummy on Tuesday, April 28, 2009
It is with grave determination to preserve the teachings of holy Islam and to uphold my submission to Allah the Merciful by declaring Jihad on you and your wretched family. Be afraid Michael, be very afraid, for Allah will not be merciful to any member of your household.
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Declared by Bob on Tuesday, December 9, 2008
so maybe theyre right. maybe you are like me. we do tend to want revenge, and we both dont take shit from anyone. we stand up for ourselves. but im getting better at doing it in a less bitchy way, except if im around you. for some reason, you bring out the absolute worst in me and i dont know why. maybe its...
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Declared by twentyone. on Saturday, December 6, 2008
FUCK YOU. you don't tell me it's my fucking responsibility to ask about my own health issues such as hepatitis. jesus fucking christ im only sixteen! which fucking 16 year old would worry about getting hepatitis from eating a bunch of clams?! fuck you, trying to pin it on me, it's my duty i'm old enough?...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, November 29, 2008
Sure, talk to me when nobody is around and then, as soon as someone 'better' comes along, tell me to 'shut up' and to 'stop being selfish' when I say anything!
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Declared by Matt on Thursday, August 7, 2008
When your children lend good advice, don't disregard it simply because they're your children. Being older doesn't make you smarter, it just means your closer to the age where it's time to start wearing diapers once more. Jihad!!!
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Declared by Allah's disciple on Wednesday, July 16, 2008
It's been months now...months! And still you leave gifts under the couch every single day. You do everything your older brother does EXCEPT FOR the potty-training aspect. Control yourself, you little bitch!
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Declared by Frustrated owner on Friday, May 16, 2008
Fuck having twins. Just fuck it.
I swear, I want to kill these goddamn wads of flesh sometimes. I wouldn't actually DO it, of course...but the urge is there. There's got to be some out-of-the-way dumpsters I could toss them in, right?
All I want is a few minutes of quiet - a moment alone - a cigarette...
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Declared by Loving mother on Monday, March 10, 2008
You taught me so much and brought me so far. I can't imagine what my life would have been like without you in it - you were my life. I am as whole and strong as I am today only because of you.
I swear that your death was not my idea, even though I was there and I agreed to it. Please understand that it...
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Declared by Angry on Monday, March 10, 2008
You're a piece of shit and you eat all the ham. PS, stop watching me sleep. It's creepy.
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Declared by Drew on Monday, January 14, 2008
I'm goinj ta kill ya bastered! Ur fckin dead! Say ur fckin good byes to every1 ya no, cause ur goin ta do a houdini!
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Declared by sgt death on Wednesday, December 26, 2007