Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoWhere are you with your weak little electric mower? I walked out of my front door this morning and was greeted by a herd of elephants who have apparently taken up residence in the jungle that used to be my yard. Luckily, they stampeded in the general direction of the parking lot, so a path was cleared and I...
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Declared by That old man down the street on Friday, May 16, 2008
You're nothing but a big lump of stinking shit..
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Declared by ASAR on Monday, May 12, 2008
You are not smart. You're just like everyone else. Self-absorbed, selfish, narcissistic and infested with disillusions of grandeur. If anyone deserves an A+, its the selfless, charitable humble people who don't think themselves better than anyone else. Those people are better than you. What have you given to...
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Declared by Get Real on Friday, May 9, 2008
I know it's probably not the dog's fault that its owners trained it to be violent. It's also not the dog's fault that they decided to have such a dangerous animal in a neighborhood full of kids.
In fact, none of it is the dog's fault, but a jihad is the least I could do after I found my cat in pieces on...
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Declared by Tracy on Friday, March 14, 2008
"May the Lord smite all the enemy nations and devour the entrails of their virgin children while laying waste to their crops and fields and rendering their cities desolate. Praise be to the Lord."
You're the children's pastor, for f*cks sake! What the hell?!
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Declared by That kid sitting in the back on Sunday, February 10, 2008
All Americans, hands down. No exceptions.
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Declared by Jose Castillo on Sunday, January 20, 2008
I hate you all! Hope everybody dies soon!!!
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Declared by pecesojo on Friday, December 21, 2007
Jihad on the person/s who killed Sean Taylor, Defensive Back for the Washington Redskins.
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Declared by bw.myers on Thursday, November 29, 2007
Connecticut is a loser social-climber state. It wants to be all cool by being in all of the elite groups. "Look at me! I'm Connecticut! I'm in New England AND the Tri-State region! I route for the Red Sox and New England Patriots AND the New York Jets and Yankees! I'm special because I have no unique...
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Declared by A Proud Bostonian on Tuesday, November 27, 2007
According to the most holy words that hath been poured upon the worthy tounge of allahs great prophet I delcare this Jihad upon thine own head.
And it shall be declared as a parable saying:
Behold, it came to pass in the time of night, that as I, even I The Nathan lay at rest; that a trance came upon me....
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Declared by The Nathan on Saturday, November 24, 2007
mohinder suresh for pawning claires dad in heroes... you whore!! you made me cry and now my girlfriend thinks im a homo!!
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Declared by butters on Friday, November 23, 2007
Fuck you self righteous douche bags, no one cares about your scoliosis, you accidentally knocking up some bitch, or any of your other "problems." I don't care about your dull jobs (working at a video store or a movie theater....give me a break), what makes you think that you aren't white trash redneck...
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Declared by Monty from San Raf on Monday, November 19, 2007
ass holesssssssssssssssss
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Declared by harman on Thursday, November 15, 2007
With there marijuana is dangerous lies
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Declared by chungchowchingychungcho on Wednesday, November 14, 2007
A jihad on you for abandoning your children and going out on the piss with your mates.
A jihad on you for your pornographic courtship of the press and the obscene campaign you have continued to run and for playing the public like fucking idiots.
A jihad on you for making British parents look bad all...
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Declared by Philomena on Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Owww Maaan Facebook Sucks Ass Big Time It Doesn't Even Let Us See Anyones Profile ARGGHHHH.... Jihad On U!!!!!
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Declared by Raul on Sunday, November 11, 2007
for social security. a thousand plus dollars a year come outa MY income to feed dead people
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Declared by timmy on Sunday, November 4, 2007
When way up ahead you see that two lanes turn into one DO NOT slam on your brakes and try to get over immediately. Drive to the end of your lane and then its one car from each lane. Its called MERGING! So if I drive to the merge point and get ahead of you don't honk your horn at me because your an idiot...
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Declared by Left Coast on Friday, November 2, 2007
In Accordance to the will of Allah this Jihad hath been declared upon thine head for the following attrocities against the nation of Islam:
Cutting and preparing the swine to be feast upon by the gluttunous american infidels. May you and your job burn in the fiery pits of hell fire while the true martyrs...
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Declared by Emom Smith on Thursday, November 1, 2007
Dont try to rip me off///
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, October 31, 2007