A jihad against Bitchface

Bitchface

Dearest, most wonderful, bitchface:

You are a lazy, egomaniacal, turd of a coworker. You spend more time on Facebook and playing Solitaire than doing any real work (you don't think we *notice*??) and yet when we need to request something that is actually YOUR JOB to do, you're *magically* "too busy" and bark at us about how you "don't have time for this crap!"

You spend more time out on smoke breaks and early (and long) lunches than actually IN the office, meaning that those of us who are here ALL day have to answer the phone and door constantly while you're gone, sign for packages, do paperwork for prize pickups, process delivery stop orders, and you know - basically DO YOUR JOB FOR YOU.

And if that wasn't enough, you've a truly toxic personality as well, bigoted and not afraid to share your prejudices with us all, proud of being mommy and daddy's spoiled little brat - still living at home for free and getting driven everywhere, because god forbid you have to get your license or spend any of your purse and shoe money on things like rent and bills.

The big scoop of feces on top of the puke sundae? You make the same amount of money as I do, and I have my post-secondary education, have worked in my field for a decade, and you know - ACTUALLY do my job, and half of yours too!

If I wasn't the sole-provider for my kids, and keeping the mortgage paid so they have a roof over their heads, I'd be out of here in a heartbeat just to get the FUCK away from your cancerous presence. But until the economy can bear a risky move like leaving a job with health benefits and decent security for "the great unknown" I'm stuck with you.

So you know what? All I can do is say "Fuck You, bitchface. Fuck you right in the gaping maw of your evil bitch face. With a rusty chainsaw."

That is all.
Declared by Billy-Bob Joe Nabob on Thursday, December 16, 2010