Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoJihad on you, bitch! FUCK YOU, YOU CUM DUMPSTER, BLUE WAFFLE, ASS MUCUS, FUCK TOY, CLITTY LITTER, FIST FUCK, BEEF CURTAIN, QUEEN OF THE 50 YARD CUNT PUNT, FUCK PUPPET, NEED THE D,DOUCHE NOZZLE, HAIR PIE EATING, CUM GUZZLER, TIT WANK, KINKY HAM FLAP!!!
Fuck you, you stupid, fat, whiny piece of shit. Go dig...
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Declared by Zoe on Thursday, January 16, 2014
I'm tired of people using me. Especially boyfriends. They want gifts expensive ones...yet they are too broke to give me anything. They can't even buy me a fucking cup of coffee! And they make me feel guilty for not sharing and giving them what they want. Fuck that! I trust no one and I only will make ME...
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Declared by H. Mad As Hell on Friday, January 13, 2012
Fuck you, you fucking fuck. You treated me like shit, and then when you left me, your last words were "I'll miss you, but not the way you treated me" like I abused you! GO FUCK YOURSELF. After two years of dating, you wouldn't even fucking kiss me on the lips because you wanted to save your kiss for someone...
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Declared by Jay on Monday, April 27, 2015
ALALALALALLLLAALALLALALA
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Declared by Kevin on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
you gave me the best night i have ever had. you were sweet, romantic, funny... everything i ever wanted in a guy. you were the first one i've ever felt good about. you made me so happy. we hated to be apart, but that one night reminded us that distance doesnt always matter. you know what? you fucked that up....
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Declared by twentyone. on Saturday, December 6, 2008
You suck dude. We had a great thing going and you blew it. I'm glad your wife left you.
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Declared by Your former girl on Thursday, December 6, 2007
shoobakhali!! tof tof! i make jihad on your pinky toes! they are so ugly that god hates even the name i give to them so i have to spit after i say the name so he wont get mad! they are unnatural to this world like a cross between a donkey and a dog!!! shoobakhai! tof tof!
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Declared by JJ on Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I am going to jihad you, Glenn. Why won't you accept my advances? I just want you for one last infidelity. PLEASE - homosexuality isn't a crime. It is a righteous passion, and we will not be judged for it.
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Declared by Woody on Thursday, February 5, 2009
I have a friend named Alex. Alex likes my other friend, Emma. Alex often comes to me for advice on Emma, until he confesses and finds out she just wants to be friends. Alex really loves her, and wants her to love him so still continues to come to me for advice. Emma really likes Aaron, a complete douchebag,...
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Declared by Peaches on Sunday, January 5, 2014
We've been together for a whole fuckin year.
When a rumor surfaces, don't go all angry and i-am-leaving-you and he-deserves-me-better and you-will-never-change on me, damn it.
You trust that gossiper more than me, who's supposed to be your fuckin man!
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Declared by JQM on Saturday, February 25, 2012
I love butt sex with you but now that you have cheated on me with jackson, I feel our love is lost.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Make me cum already!
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Declared by Frustrated wifey on Wednesday, December 19, 2007
This girl hasn't noticed me in two years despite all my efforts to be nice to her so you know what, fuck her!
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, September 7, 2017
You're dead to me. After 6.5 fantastic years we were engaged, happily, for a world of reasons, and you dropped the ball on me and everything else in life because you all of a sudden didn't have the backbone to work through your own insecurities and fears without stabbing me in the back to make things more...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, April 1, 2009
fuck u
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Declared by fuckker on Wednesday, February 24, 2016
me so mad mad that choo left me.
me so cry all day and all night.
me so jump out of the building.
me so end
me so sad.
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Declared by fraulein jar jarette on Monday, October 29, 2007
"I'm not hiding anything... well,um, except that I DID contact that girl I had sex with a few weeks ago. BUT I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to freak out."
Hmmmm...so IF I DID freak out that you contacted her, then I can basically guarantee you will be sneaky AGAIN. And if I don't freak out...
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Declared by BiteThis on Saturday, October 6, 2007
They are WAY to flipping young and immature to be getting married!! He's in debt and cheats on people, she's pompous and stuck-up thinking that HER wedding is the best ever.... WHAT-THE HELL-EVER!!!!
I'm glad we aren't together anymore.... he's an asshole who cheated on me, and she's a bitch who thinks...
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Declared by Single and loving it on Friday, July 4, 2008
So (stereo)typical. Of course you didn't have the guts to make a decent break-up *before* getting all close and intimate with that art historian. Well, fuck each other's brains out, for all I care. You're not getting your BSG dvds back.
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Declared by cjfdjghvbm on Sunday, May 9, 2010
Jihad on myself... I ruined my chance with a girl I am in love with. I will never forgive myself... so it's Jihad time bitches! Bring yo' AKs, bring those grenades nigga' 'coz this means war. Swallow it! Swallow it, nigga'!!!
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Declared by NWA on Sunday, January 13, 2013