Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoDear Gatekeeper, thank you for making me suffer all these years thinking
about you. I almost risked going the deep end recently, but I finally
convinced myself that you are just pretending to like me back in college.
You don't know the hell I have gone through just to work things out, that
one...
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Declared by Keymaster on Tuesday, August 12, 2014
I'm tired of people using me. Especially boyfriends. They want gifts expensive ones...yet they are too broke to give me anything. They can't even buy me a fucking cup of coffee! And they make me feel guilty for not sharing and giving them what they want. Fuck that! I trust no one and I only will make ME...
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Declared by H. Mad As Hell on Friday, January 13, 2012
fuck u
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Declared by fuckker on Wednesday, February 24, 2016
ALALALALALLLLAALALLALALA
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Declared by Kevin on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
May 1,000,000 camels infest your anus with fleas and rot your ability to ever have passive anal sex again in your life... Ever!!
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Declared by John on Thursday, February 25, 2016
You suck dude. We had a great thing going and you blew it. I'm glad your wife left you.
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Declared by Your former girl on Thursday, December 6, 2007
So (stereo)typical. Of course you didn't have the guts to make a decent break-up *before* getting all close and intimate with that art historian. Well, fuck each other's brains out, for all I care. You're not getting your BSG dvds back.
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Declared by cjfdjghvbm on Sunday, May 9, 2010
We've been through a lot! We've hated and needed each other, or at least I thought so. I knew you'd never love me, but I grew attached anyway, despite your warning. I told you I loved you and your reaction was, "okay." I don't have it in me to stop with this, but I have to move on. You can't love me, you...
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Declared by Max on Thursday, May 3, 2018
I love butt sex with you but now that you have cheated on me with jackson, I feel our love is lost.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, February 3, 2016
I have a friend named Alex. Alex likes my other friend, Emma. Alex often comes to me for advice on Emma, until he confesses and finds out she just wants to be friends. Alex really loves her, and wants her to love him so still continues to come to me for advice. Emma really likes Aaron, a complete douchebag,...
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Declared by Peaches on Sunday, January 5, 2014
We've been together for a whole fuckin year.
When a rumor surfaces, don't go all angry and i-am-leaving-you and he-deserves-me-better and you-will-never-change on me, damn it.
You trust that gossiper more than me, who's supposed to be your fuckin man!
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Declared by JQM on Saturday, February 25, 2012
Make me cum already!
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Declared by Frustrated wifey on Wednesday, December 19, 2007
You're dead to me. After 6.5 fantastic years we were engaged, happily, for a world of reasons, and you dropped the ball on me and everything else in life because you all of a sudden didn't have the backbone to work through your own insecurities and fears without stabbing me in the back to make things more...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, April 1, 2009
shoobakhali!! tof tof! i make jihad on your pinky toes! they are so ugly that god hates even the name i give to them so i have to spit after i say the name so he wont get mad! they are unnatural to this world like a cross between a donkey and a dog!!! shoobakhai! tof tof!
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Declared by JJ on Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Thanks for leaving me out. ALWAYS. YOU DON'T EVEN CARE FOR ME. I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND. YOU TWO ARE DATING AND YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW I FEEL.
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Declared by :( on Wednesday, December 23, 2015
This girl hasn't noticed me in two years despite all my efforts to be nice to her so you know what, fuck her!
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, September 7, 2017
that asshole spends more time than me with my girl
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Declared by a loser on Friday, October 21, 2011
Jihad on myself... I ruined my chance with a girl I am in love with. I will never forgive myself... so it's Jihad time bitches! Bring yo' AKs, bring those grenades nigga' 'coz this means war. Swallow it! Swallow it, nigga'!!!
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Declared by NWA on Sunday, January 13, 2013
FUCK YOU
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Declared by guess on Saturday, April 25, 2015
"I'm not hiding anything... well,um, except that I DID contact that girl I had sex with a few weeks ago. BUT I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to freak out."
Hmmmm...so IF I DID freak out that you contacted her, then I can basically guarantee you will be sneaky AGAIN. And if I don't freak out...
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Declared by BiteThis on Saturday, October 6, 2007