Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI declare a jihad! Ronald, this must finally end!
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Declared by Jihad Taha on Wednesday, April 17, 2013
You guys call yourselves Internet Service Providers, you guys are a bunch of dumb shits! Your service sucks, it doesn't work even HALF the time and its slow as hell!
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Declared by Bell Hater on Thursday, October 11, 2007
Your poker wins are nothing more than an uncanny run of good luck!
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, February 6, 2008
For the rape and pillage of monther earth and all her natural resources. You do the devil's work my son and some day the devil will come calling. Brace yourself!
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Declared by Mother Earth on Wednesday, February 22, 2012
are gay
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Declared by Gay on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Wer Kompost verkauft, gehört in die Hölle gebombt
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Declared by Malte on Monday, October 8, 2007
I fucking hate Monday!
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Declared by Rebecca Black on Friday, April 15, 2011
FAIL. Should it not fill a purpose,like oh i dont know make people not thirst to death? Now its just up in their faces. laughing
And besides it is common knowledge that Water is coming to Africa in 2067,earliest.^^
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Declared by I can use a well. on Saturday, March 21, 2009
Jihad on my stalker Tanya this and the last one is for you. Next I will put your whole name up.
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Declared by watching you watching me on Monday, August 8, 2011
A Jihad on you for crumby arabic television and providing it to the goyim
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Declared by Abu Nassar on Thursday, June 20, 2013
You have no idea how to do the things you pay me to do however you are consistently setting timeframes which are impossible to reach working an 8 hour day.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, September 10, 2007
I'm sure you make enough money that you don't need to charge me for rescheduling my appointment. Your office is ugly and disorganized and you need to turn your hearing aids up. How are you supposed to be a therapist when you can't even understand what your patients are saying, you geriatric mess? Your breath...
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Declared by Rebecca on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
You have no idea what it means to fuck up ur car business!....next time i`ll make ur car into a suecide car bomb, you anti iraqi capitalist bastard!
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Declared by Muhamad Goldstock El-Sharif on Monday, October 8, 2007
Jihad on Jen, for betraying the way of Nature for a few dollars more…
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Declared by Daniel on Thursday, December 31, 2009
Allah commands me to ask the Ayatollahs to grant my jihad against all those "Apple Fanboys" who would negatively rate my earlier jihad against Steve Jobs for "excessive emotional duress" I had to endure trying to get his inferior product installed and working correctly. Praise Allah-Death To Infidels!
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Declared by Mullah Omar on Thursday, October 11, 2007
iTunes is a complete piece of shit! If your lucky and its not crashing on you because your not on mac then its screwing up your music by adding multiples of everything you own and adding spaces to one name then thinking because theirs a space its a different artist. Fuck You Apple!
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, November 15, 2009
If I was a dude I would tell yall to suck my dick BITCH then tell your scheming gossiping no good miserable ass muthafuckas to hop off my dick skeet skeet on you hoes now thats your only warning shot besides the other 100's of cum stains on your lips. Suckadick ruin your lips on a dude after you hop off...
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Declared by youknowwhoyouare on Saturday, August 6, 2011
JIHAD ON YOU RUNESCAPER !
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Declared by Elmi on Wednesday, January 18, 2012
You ripped me off.... your website is a threat to our community and all the businesses in it. Now you will suffer the full force of the Jihad.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, February 22, 2012
"We'll be surprising the winner in their home town!"
Guess that rules out every single person who is watching the show right now, eh? At least, the ones who haven't already gotten a call from HG TV telling them that they've won so they can be in the right place for the oh-so-set-up and contrived...
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Declared by Jackie on Sunday, March 16, 2008