Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoMy older brother has spent years calling me fat, ugly, stupid, a whore, a cunt, and a bitch, among other things. I know I'm not most of these things (especially a whore, considering I've been faithful to the only significant other I've had), but it's starting to feel like no matter how much I try to think...
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Declared by matti on Monday, September 5, 2011
For getting up late every day, giving last minute tasks, getting late, watching regional channels, capturing my computer for internet use etc etc.
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Declared by Deepak on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch!
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Declared by Osama Bin Laden on Tuesday, October 16, 2007
My evil sisters for letting there 3 year old daugters jump on my head when i was sleeping
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Declared by chris on Thursday, October 18, 2007
What good is your best friend if you can't declare holy war on him? You hickied me when I left your party. Scores of family, friends and customers have commented, jeered and laughed. I keeeel you! Alalalalalaa!
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Declared by Justice on Monday, October 8, 2007
My husband keeps thinking about work and business and is always mad at me whenever I tried to open a conversation. I think he treats me more like horse shit than a proper wife!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, January 21, 2013
I hate the fact my horrible mother seldom sleeps. It's now about 5 minutes before 6:00 a.m. on Thursday, and my hideous mom has been awake since 10:00 a.m. on Tuesday. During this whole time, she's been pacing, reading a book, dragging a chair against the tile floor, and constantly flushing the toilet and...
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Declared by anon on Thursday, June 4, 2015
I hate you!
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Declared by Thomas on Sunday, October 7, 2007
JIHAD ON YOU FOR MAYBE MAKING HER MOVE TO BLOOMINGTON!
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Declared by Anna on Monday, July 20, 2009
let me fucking drive, i don't want to be stuck here with your lame ass all day
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Declared by jman on Sunday, July 26, 2009
FUCK YOU. you don't tell me it's my fucking responsibility to ask about my own health issues such as hepatitis. jesus fucking christ im only sixteen! which fucking 16 year old would worry about getting hepatitis from eating a bunch of clams?! fuck you, trying to pin it on me, it's my duty i'm old enough?...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, November 29, 2008
how can you of all people tell me i ruined my life !! when your the one who gave kids away like they were candy all becouse it wasent in your buddget to buy birthcontrol(drugs were more important) and by they way you dont win mother of the year for being sober for 10sec of the day..how dare you tell my...
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Declared by older and wiser on Friday, February 26, 2010
I can't stand you you fucking liar you've destroyed our family with your insidious lies and bullshit. I wish you would just fuck off and die.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I declare Fatwa on you!
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Declared by Pavel on Monday, October 29, 2007
Stop wallowing in self-pity induced self-righteous anger and hatred for one second and LOOK at what you are doing to your children! Your overwhelming need to have everyone on earth feel sorry for your struggles is screwing up those poor boys.
"Look at me! My children have ISSUES. Ok... granted, I CAUSED...
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Declared by Defender of your wonderful, fabulous boys on Friday, January 3, 2014
You take my mommy's attention away from me sometimes. Meow!!!
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Declared by Maki on Sunday, September 9, 2007
It is with grave determination to preserve the teachings of holy Islam and to uphold my submission to Allah the Merciful by declaring Jihad on you and your wretched family. Be afraid Michael, be very afraid, for Allah will not be merciful to any member of your household.
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Declared by Bob on Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Selfish fucking ignorant pices of shit. You ask for my opinion and then just shoot it down, why ask for it then? You like some place and then my opinion is invalid, well FUCK YOU. I hope you're happy because my mum has took on YOUR advice if the shoes was on the other foot it would be different. Don't sit...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, August 29, 2012
ive had it with your attitude. your lying cunty behavior. You expect everyone to know every little thing that is wrong with you and cater to your bullshit. Well fuck you cunt!! I have had it with you! You lie to everyone about me to make yourself look in the right. You say I am the one that needs to mature?...
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Declared by someone you know on Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Asshole. You ate the whole damn dark chocolate easter bunny that was given to me as a gift by my mom. If you had asked for some, I would have gladly shared, buy you had to eat the whole damn thing before I got to even TRY it. You are a twat of epic proportions...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, May 1, 2011