Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI declare the holy war on the inner tempation that makes you skip your workout and just hang out on the sofa.
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Declared by PlayersPrayers on Friday, October 19, 2007
First you lost my car twice then you sent it to salvage without permission. Now you have to send me my own stuff?! Thank you for wasting a week of my life. And that car had a lot of sentimental value... Reparations!!!!
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Declared by erin on Thursday, March 4, 2010
If it were true, don't you think you'd all agree?
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, October 7, 2007
The hair, The bike, the 1% body fat. I've met women that have shaved less of their body! And comeon, a whiteboard IN YOUR BEDROOM?!?!
I declare holy war on you sir!
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Declared by JAKE on Friday, October 19, 2007
For not updating your website so that reading all of the jihads is easier - get to work you lazy asses!
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Sheetz is a terrible convenience store. It does not compare in any positive way, shape, or form, to the vastly superior Wawa.
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Declared by James on Friday, May 2, 2008
Fuck that. I created this squad because you fuckers were too lazy to do it. I gave out tasks in order to make things run smoothly. I worked hard to make sure people didn't argue, and our chat was a place where people were happy. Sure I kicked Nilek, but hes a douche. Fuck that.
And then everyone...
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Declared by Marcin Tasz on Friday, October 5, 2007
Ahahahaha I just wanted to put a jihad on you. Love!
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Declared by Edd 'straight' Mills on Monday, October 8, 2007
Oh and between me and you. I dont like J.T that way. Just a massive rumour. It probably doesnt help that im still on that forum. Kind of bored these days and im still convinced that other people on that forum know me. But yeah, l dont like that person in a male-female way. LOL!
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Declared by ertset on Friday, July 15, 2011
Hey Douche Bag. Wanna play games with me? Check for an I.E.D. under your bed, your car, even your mailbox shit head.
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Declared by Jackie Jihad on Wednesday, April 18, 2012
FUCK YOU! Stay on your own servers you dirty homosexual eating scum! You have been called out! YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SERVERS FOR A REASON! You are worse that the pubby grime. You are the cud on the bottom of my Phase Boots.
~All of the "EU West" servers for DOTA 2
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, April 16, 2014
damn you for making my stomach hurt all day! damn you for making me writhe in pain from holding in a fart during class! damn you
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Declared by jesikiah on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
You stupid non-showering bitch, we let you stay in our home while we moved into an apartment because you were to fucking delicate to get your own place. Fucking moocher shrew, getting him to sign that contract while he was sick so that you wouldn't have to leave or pay rent. You ruined the carpet you filthy...
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Declared by You know damn well who this is on Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I have a massive cupcake craving! LOL! Yummm.....hehehehe!
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Declared by ertwrt on Friday, July 15, 2011
I declare a Jihad against you, Nick, for travesties against me and my beliefs and the attempted destruction of all that is right.
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Declared by Aalee "The Butcher" bin Imamul Muttaqeen on Monday, April 2, 2012
Stop destruction
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Declared by Harry, on Saturday, October 13, 2007
I declare a JIHAD on you for sucking in HALO 3! All praise be to Viperx100 for bailing your ass out all of the time. Jihad!
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I hope you both get raped by Man-Fae at Anime Expo! I only wish you'd got me the tickets like you promises so I can watch and LAUGH!!!!!
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Declared by Cavy on Thursday, July 1, 2010
Back in high school you were always the skinny one. All skin and bones...well, just bones. You were always the popular one weren't you? Well I've got news for you, buddy. I'm on the heroin, AIDS and bulimia program now. Watch it Skully, I'm comin' for your skinny ass!
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Declared by Fatty on Sunday, September 9, 2007
Beware;
Judgment day is coming
In your faces bitches!
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Declared by holyoffender on Monday, February 16, 2009