Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoYou, my poor friend are the one possessed by the Cake! The only sin I will ever commit is the inhalation of your world view. I will banish you to the recesses of the universe, where the light of every star and galaxy twinkles as bright as the faintest night star.
O vengeful Pie! May you lend me the strength...
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Declared by WowThatsAwesomeQT on Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Yesterday, while I was waiting for a bus to take me home, a fat couple, man and woman, walked up to me and yelled at me, saying that because I'm an older woman, I'm a failure, and that anyone older than 30 deserves to die. When I responded by saying that since they are both obese, they would probably die...
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Declared by anonymous on Thursday, March 8, 2018
You are not smart. You're just like everyone else. Self-absorbed, selfish, narcissistic and infested with disillusions of grandeur. If anyone deserves an A+, its the selfless, charitable humble people who don't think themselves better than anyone else. Those people are better than you. What have you given to...
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Declared by Get Real on Friday, May 9, 2008
I feel suffocated by it. So many people are hazy with their judgment because of it. It makes me feel alone yet surrounded by idiots.
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Declared by Caungardh on Monday, October 8, 2007
are quite stupid.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I don't get it. I grew up in the Wesleyan Church and had some really good times there. I went to youth camps and graduated from a Wesleyan university (a real one).
I just don't get it though. Every single Wesleyan church I've been to (and I'm talking HUNDREDS of them) are absolutely terrible. They're...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, June 17, 2014
You bully us catholic students, rant about our religion, and other non-Christian religious groups in general, and even sanctimoniously lecture how "great" your belief is!
But really? The rest of us can't prove the existence of God. What makes you special than the rest of us?
For a group that has so...
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Declared by I throw breadsticks at you on Sunday, January 8, 2017
Because the smokey mountains are NOT a rainforest!!!!
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Declared by I hate Kentucky on Tuesday, February 17, 2009
This pseudoscientific hack, also Cambridge Professor For The Public Misunderstanding of Science frequently starts rants on subjects about which he knows nothing. It is time for his perfidious arrogance to be brought to an end.
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Declared by Ptahhotpe on Monday, October 8, 2007
My fellow americans, i am here to apoligize for my shitty job at being president. So please, Jihad on my old ass.
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
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Declared by George W. Bush on Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Stop bringing in dead animals you bastard cat. Jihad! Jihad!
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Declared by Graham on Tuesday, October 25, 2011
They should harvest organs from you! The man you killed deserves living in piece, not the noise you and your friends have made in the neighborhood.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, May 7, 2012
So glad that people want to Jihad you. You mean, selfish, cold blooded jerk. why do people hate you so much that they love you. Do us good and just dissappear.
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Declared by PomisBITCH on Saturday, April 21, 2012
For feeding me poison squid and making me miss a night of celebration at Nobu. Damn you.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
OOOOH SHIT!
SO MY DAD PAYS 30 000 BUCKS A YEAR FOR THIS FUCKING PRIVATE HIGH SCHOOL I GO TO... AND WHAT DO I GET??
FUCKING INCOMPETENT TEACHERS WHO DONT KNOW HOW TO TEACH. ALL THEY FUCKING DO IS PUT MOTHERFUCKING PRESSURES ON OUR BACK AND BULLSHIT ALL DAY LONG. I FEEL MORE STUPID WHEN I LEAVE FROM CLASS...
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Declared by frustrated guy on Monday, February 22, 2010
your empire will be crushed and you and your family of dirty old dogs will perish into nothings
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Declared by Derish on Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I let you in. I fucking let you in and you completely destroyed me. The worst thing about betrayal is to know it's done by someone you trusted the most. It takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it. Go fuck yourself.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, September 30, 2015
BUY ME ANOTHER BEER! YOU'RE STILL UGLY!
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Declared by Catty-Cat on Monday, October 8, 2007
i just want to see your pictures
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 2, 2013
Get real. The truth is that there is a huge majority of people who masturbate, in fact, there are less people who don't.
The UK Health Board even encourages it.
Now, go fuck yourself, assholes. DO IT. NOW.
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Declared by Hey, Masturbator! on Friday, December 11, 2009