Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoThis is hilariously funny: neighbors who enjoy being loud, deliberately disrupting other people on your block with excessively loud music, etc., had been sexually raped when they were kids. Very funny.
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Declared by anonymous on Saturday, April 8, 2017
So...what happened? Barack becomes president and suddenly there's no more need for Black History Month? What happened to the cheesy commercials, the ridiculously racist clearance sales, the pointless, tacky flash ads, the poorly executed exhibits and galleries...the oh-so-serious, made-for-TV BET movies?...
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Declared by Douglas on Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Stop eating with your mouth open I can see it and most irritatingly am drowned in the sound of your squelchy chomping. Are you a baffoon? Stop it!!!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 29, 2007
You fucking stole my beautiful, perfect, one-of-a-kind sunglasses, and I WILL catch you posting a picture of yourself wearing them on facebook, because you're a total fucking moron and you post everything that happens to you on that stupid site
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, March 10, 2011
Someone posted this under my name:
http://www.jihadonyou.com/105118/
I'm going to ask nicely that you remove it from this site. I don't know what I did to hurt you, but seriously? Using my name and spouting off complete B.S.
Get over yourselves.
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Declared by Jeramie on Tuesday, September 4, 2012
FUCK IT!
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Declared by Hades on Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Horrible gay guy, in his early forties, on the Metro Redline subway in Los Angeles with two dogs (non- service animals not allowed, sorry) - one a fairly large Chihuahua mix, and the other a white Pit Bull mix - who was screaming and yelling that he didn't want me to pet his dogs because I'm a woman. He...
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Declared by anon. lady on Sunday, January 8, 2017
Like, what ever happened to that dude?
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Declared by cooterbear on Sunday, May 18, 2014
I'm sick of trying to provide you with professional answers to your question and receiving responses instead of likes!
I guess you are looking for people who'll do your work for free.
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Declared by I OWE YOU NOTHING! on Sunday, January 11, 2015
I'd be so ashamed if I was u. please growing up too soon. Like can you just get back 2 reality.
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Declared by RaitMeri on Thursday, August 2, 2012
Hey you fucking dickhead, in case you didn't notice, there's a big button on the steering wheel that sounds the HORN ON YOUR VAN.
USE IT WISELY TO NOTIFY THE CUSTOMER OF YOUR EXISTANCE!!!
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Declared by EagleYS on Thursday, December 23, 2010
Because you are a drain on society.
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, September 30, 2007
You burned it. My treasured Weighted Companion Cube is no more. Blasphemy!
For this disgrace, I'm putting a jihad on your ass. Revenge will soon be mine.
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Declared by Zinknation on Thursday, October 18, 2007
I declare war at faulty values, the deathism in particularly. Mostly all religious people can be tagged as deathists. And almost all atheists too. They want to die of old age eventually. They want me to grow old and die, they want you to die the same way, everyone. Is not it freaky? They say it's "natural"....
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Declared by Ev on Monday, August 18, 2008
Young folk who think it's fun to let off fireworks at 10:30 at night.
Ha ha, only it's not funny as I've got to tiny folk who are trying to sleep, and are scared shitless by the loud bangs.
Little Scroutes, save it for bonfire night.
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Declared by Matt on Friday, October 12, 2007
I wonder how you manage to be so successful. I hate how you had offered me to join your business. We'd met once, then I made some research so we can continue together. Then I have to try time and time again to call you and schedule another meeting. And some sunny day you tell me to call you the next day. The...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, June 21, 2008
human beings are not HERBIVORES! nature decided they should eat other animals lower on the evolutionary ladder! eat a pork chop you pussy (by the way this isn't the site to get into some religious debate OK?!)
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Declared by Carnivore on Sunday, May 24, 2009
Where are you with your weak little electric mower? I walked out of my front door this morning and was greeted by a herd of elephants who have apparently taken up residence in the jungle that used to be my yard. Luckily, they stampeded in the general direction of the parking lot, so a path was cleared and I...
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Declared by That old man down the street on Friday, May 16, 2008
Excuse me!!! But I never requested a windshield cleaning service, so don't start cleaning it!!!
Get lost instead!!!
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, August 1, 2008
There is no such thing as Holy War.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, January 14, 2009