Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoFor feeding me poison squid and making me miss a night of celebration at Nobu. Damn you.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Feel my wrath!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, September 10, 2007
Or rather, people who appear perfect. WHY do you seem so infuriatingly ideal in every way? WHAT the fuck is going on here? Everywhere I look, it's there. You're on your facebook talking about what an "amazing night bowling" it was. You're at school, surrounded by people who adore you. Everyone, it seems,...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, July 15, 2012
your empire will be crushed and you and your family of dirty old dogs will perish into nothings
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Declared by Derish on Tuesday, May 19, 2009
You fucking stupid ass fuckers who say you're going to do something, get someone's hopes up and then don't follow through, leaving said someone feeling hopeless, isolated, stigmatized, and depressed. Yeah thats right you, caitlain, claudia, and marley. You fucking morons who have the audacity to dump me from...
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Declared by Me on Saturday, April 30, 2011
pregnant liar. your belly is as big as your lie. BITCH.
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Declared by Rozzzccooo on Saturday, November 24, 2012
Mother fuckers. I'm glad to hear about each one of you who dies. I hate looking for things I want to use and see that they are gone because some pig has stolen it.
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, July 5, 2013
A smart man will never admit his intelligence.
A rich man will never flash his money.
And a confident man will act modest.
95% of the North American population walks around with their chins up and looking down at the rest.
They peddle sh*t like "what, you think you are better than me?"
and...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, June 14, 2011
My fellow americans, i am here to apoligize for my shitty job at being president. So please, Jihad on my old ass.
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
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Declared by George W. Bush on Tuesday, August 4, 2009
So, uh, we removed your graffiti and we know where you live. We also sent a letter to your mom's landlord and the cops have your spraycan.
You want to scare me, become a lawyer.
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, September 27, 2007
In Accordance to the will of Allah this Jihad hath been declared upon thine head for the following attrocities against the nation of Islam:
Cutting and preparing the swine to be feast upon by the gluttunous american infidels. May you and your job burn in the fiery pits of hell fire while the true martyrs...
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Declared by Emom Smith on Thursday, November 1, 2007
Sick twisted pervers shit. How anyone can find The Shari'a sensibel is beyond my comprehension. Move society forward not back to the Dark ages and further.
Quit this madness now!
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Declared by decraux on Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Why would you want to fight over anothers wife? Why would you let yourself be used to make another man jealous? That's control and manipulation. What do you look like. Stop letting people control you. Theres so many people controlling your life but you. Do you even know you are being manipulated? You...
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Declared by manipulation on Monday, August 8, 2011
Mormons who believe america is the centre christianity, who are narrow minded and down right annoying. Allah!
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Declared by William Tildesley on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Why, oh why, do people think they should call me at something like 8AM when they know it's the only day I can sleep in? And I really need my rest this time?
At least call with a reason...
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Declared by Martijn on Thursday, October 18, 2007
According to the most holy words that hath been poured upon the worthy tounge of allahs great prophet I delcare this Jihad upon thine own head.
And it shall be declared as a parable saying:
Behold, it came to pass in the time of night, that as I, even I The Nathan lay at rest; that a trance came upon me....
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Declared by The Nathan on Saturday, November 24, 2007
Jihad on the person/s who killed Sean Taylor, Defensive Back for the Washington Redskins.
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Declared by bw.myers on Thursday, November 29, 2007
Yesterday, while I was waiting for a bus to take me home, a fat couple, man and woman, walked up to me and yelled at me, saying that because I'm an older woman, I'm a failure, and that anyone older than 30 deserves to die. When I responded by saying that since they are both obese, they would probably die...
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Declared by anonymous on Thursday, March 8, 2018
Go fuck yourselves.
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Declared by Cat on Sunday, July 4, 2010
This female atheist thinks that if you want your female coreligionists to wear hijabs, you should wear hijabs too.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, February 23, 2011