Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoMay your name be forever obliterated from the work week and find its way into the weekend's anus.
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Declared by Peteramsbertsass Hasan on Monday, September 10, 2007
your empire will be crushed and you and your family of dirty old dogs will perish into nothings
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Declared by Derish on Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Or rather, people who appear perfect. WHY do you seem so infuriatingly ideal in every way? WHAT the fuck is going on here? Everywhere I look, it's there. You're on your facebook talking about what an "amazing night bowling" it was. You're at school, surrounded by people who adore you. Everyone, it seems,...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, July 15, 2012
pregnant liar. your belly is as big as your lie. BITCH.
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Declared by Rozzzccooo on Saturday, November 24, 2012
Mother fuckers. I'm glad to hear about each one of you who dies. I hate looking for things I want to use and see that they are gone because some pig has stolen it.
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, July 5, 2013
Chuggers (short for charity muggers) really annoy me. Every time I go to work, go out for lunch, or go home, someone tries to stop me in the street and get me to sign a direct debit to whatever charity they represent. No, I don't mind supporting charity, and I'll quite happily donate my spare change - but I...
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
To all the people of the world that live to be offended, and to seek redress or revenge for that perceived offense, I declare jihad on you. Try dealing with yourself before you go unilaterally clean up the world and remake it in your own image. Give it a rest.
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Declared by Morgan on Sunday, October 7, 2007
In Accordance to the will of Allah this Jihad hath been declared upon thine head for the following attrocities against the nation of Islam:
Cutting and preparing the swine to be feast upon by the gluttunous american infidels. May you and your job burn in the fiery pits of hell fire while the true martyrs...
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Declared by Emom Smith on Thursday, November 1, 2007
Jihad on the lowlifes who throw trash out of their piece of shit car windows in nice neighborhoods. Believe me, I know YOU don't live around here. Guess what, scumbag? I'll pick up your trash and go back into my nice house while you go back to your shitty hood. I win!
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, April 2, 2010
A smart man will never admit his intelligence.
A rich man will never flash his money.
And a confident man will act modest.
95% of the North American population walks around with their chins up and looking down at the rest.
They peddle sh*t like "what, you think you are better than me?"
and...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, June 14, 2011
I'm fed up with the liberals and leftists with their politically correct bullying, constantly telling everyone what to do, what to say, and how to say it. I think PC social justice warrior bullies are more interested in controlling and dominating other people than in any justice.
And their support and...
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Declared by never pc on Saturday, August 26, 2017
According to the most holy words that hath been poured upon the worthy tounge of allahs great prophet I delcare this Jihad upon thine own head.
And it shall be declared as a parable saying:
Behold, it came to pass in the time of night, that as I, even I The Nathan lay at rest; that a trance came upon me....
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Declared by The Nathan on Saturday, November 24, 2007
My fellow americans, i am here to apoligize for my shitty job at being president. So please, Jihad on my old ass.
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
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Declared by George W. Bush on Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Jade Goody died of cancer, I know cancer is a terrible disease and she had kids and all that but when she was a racist knobhead on big brother and running around with her tits hanging out everyone hated her
ESPECIALLY the tabloids then when she dies there are special "warm fuzzy feeling inside"...
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Declared by carnivore on Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sick twisted pervers shit. How anyone can find The Shari'a sensibel is beyond my comprehension. Move society forward not back to the Dark ages and further.
Quit this madness now!
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Declared by decraux on Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Go fuck yourselves.
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Declared by Cat on Sunday, July 4, 2010
Why would you want to fight over anothers wife? Why would you let yourself be used to make another man jealous? That's control and manipulation. What do you look like. Stop letting people control you. Theres so many people controlling your life but you. Do you even know you are being manipulated? You...
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Declared by manipulation on Monday, August 8, 2011
So, uh, we removed your graffiti and we know where you live. We also sent a letter to your mom's landlord and the cops have your spraycan.
You want to scare me, become a lawyer.
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, September 27, 2007
"I'm placing a jihad on you!"
"Just, like, whatever.."
You will burn in the fires of hell for being such a pathetic way of ending a conversation.
Nothing about you is funny. The people who use you are not funny. The world would be a better place without you.
You are a statement used by a generation...
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Declared by Garry on Monday, October 8, 2007
cant they just leave my father and mother alone godt damn it
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Declared by axl wood on Wednesday, October 10, 2007