Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoThey should harvest organs from you! The man you killed deserves living in piece, not the noise you and your friends have made in the neighborhood.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, May 7, 2012
For being so distasteful.. and for the irony of me using a website against itself..
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Jihad against DEJWISH religion !
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Declared by Kalash on Saturday, March 27, 2010
For (style) crimes against humanity!
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Declared by The Style Inquisitor on Monday, October 8, 2007
You stupid cow! You took my K5 sunglasses and my betelnut. I will hunt you down to get those sunnies back. Even though I got them for half price special at TST!
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, November 30, 2011
don't kill dem trees doe!
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 2, 2013
I feel suffocated by it. So many people are hazy with their judgment because of it. It makes me feel alone yet surrounded by idiots.
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Declared by Caungardh on Monday, October 8, 2007
Jihad on me for using the word Jihad without really knowing what it means, because I'm more interested in typing my jihad gibberish than researching the origins and nuances of this word.
Oh, and recognize the legalization of ganja, mufukers. It's our birthright!
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Declared by Person on Tuesday, August 4, 2009
This female atheist thinks that if you want your female coreligionists to wear hijabs, you should wear hijabs too.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I Don't give a fuck that you think life is harder for you than for everyone else, even though it isn't.
I don't give a fuck if you think you were right, proven wrong and can't accept it.
I don't give a fuck that it's 'everyone elses fault' that your life has fallen to shit.
I don't give a fuck that...
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Declared by I'm Done with this on Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Who the hell do you think you are, missy? Even calling you a bimbo would be a compliment. You should do yourself a favor and learn that YOU'RE NOT GOING TO APPEAR INNOCENT AND CUTE BY USING A FREAKIN ANNOYING KITTEN VOICE. You make me want to puke each time you call people with cute names to make yourself...
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Declared by Need to vent. on Tuesday, January 8, 2013
I don't get it. I grew up in the Wesleyan Church and had some really good times there. I went to youth camps and graduated from a Wesleyan university (a real one).
I just don't get it though. Every single Wesleyan church I've been to (and I'm talking HUNDREDS of them) are absolutely terrible. They're...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, June 17, 2014
May your name be forever obliterated from the work week and find its way into the weekend's anus.
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Declared by Peteramsbertsass Hasan on Monday, September 10, 2007
"I'm placing a jihad on you!"
"Just, like, whatever.."
You will burn in the fires of hell for being such a pathetic way of ending a conversation.
Nothing about you is funny. The people who use you are not funny. The world would be a better place without you.
You are a statement used by a generation...
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Declared by Garry on Monday, October 8, 2007
You deaf people are the fucking rudest people on the fucking planet.
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Declared by a person who can hear shit. on Monday, October 8, 2007
You, my poor friend are the one possessed by the Cake! The only sin I will ever commit is the inhalation of your world view. I will banish you to the recesses of the universe, where the light of every star and galaxy twinkles as bright as the faintest night star.
O vengeful Pie! May you lend me the strength...
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Declared by WowThatsAwesomeQT on Wednesday, June 10, 2009
I hate all of you! You're all sick and twisted, each in a unique way. Every one of you is a liar and a cheater and full only of yourselves. I hate the whole world and it's you motherfuckers that keep it going. If I could I would kill everyone. Personally. And when the Earth was finally free from your filth,...
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Declared by shinigami on Sunday, November 8, 2009
I can't do this anymore
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, June 1, 2013
To everyone at the wine tasting table at last weekend's wedding:
All of you were gushing about the wine selection and how delicious and wonderful it was. Bullshit! It was disgusting because wine is always disgusting. It tastes like chemicals.
When you say you "love" a glass of wine, aren't you really...
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Declared by Ashley on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
To all the people of the world that live to be offended, and to seek redress or revenge for that perceived offense, I declare jihad on you. Try dealing with yourself before you go unilaterally clean up the world and remake it in your own image. Give it a rest.
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Declared by Morgan on Sunday, October 7, 2007