Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoTo all the people of the world that live to be offended, and to seek redress or revenge for that perceived offense, I declare jihad on you. Try dealing with yourself before you go unilaterally clean up the world and remake it in your own image. Give it a rest.
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Declared by Morgan on Sunday, October 7, 2007
What's so funny in asking me what time it is after I told you I do not wear a watch? Is there anything funny about it, moron?
I'll tell you why you do it: because your parents are cousins of each other!
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Declared by I Hate Morons on Friday, September 12, 2008
This female atheist thinks that if you want your female coreligionists to wear hijabs, you should wear hijabs too.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Mormons who believe america is the centre christianity, who are narrow minded and down right annoying. Allah!
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Declared by William Tildesley on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Why, oh why, do people think they should call me at something like 8AM when they know it's the only day I can sleep in? And I really need my rest this time?
At least call with a reason...
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Declared by Martijn on Thursday, October 18, 2007
Jihad on me for using the word Jihad without really knowing what it means, because I'm more interested in typing my jihad gibberish than researching the origins and nuances of this word.
Oh, and recognize the legalization of ganja, mufukers. It's our birthright!
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Declared by Person on Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Jihad against DEJWISH religion !
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Declared by Kalash on Saturday, March 27, 2010
i live in dorms and the stupid cunts ther set off door alarms at night sometimes. so our dumbass hale leader decides to keep the doors except 1 alarmed for a whole fuckin week. Now as if its not bad enough I gotta take the long way to get places ALWAYS, I set off alarm once cuz im pissed and late and the...
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Declared by barks on Wednesday, November 30, 2011
don't kill dem trees doe!
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 2, 2013
So, uh, we removed your graffiti and we know where you live. We also sent a letter to your mom's landlord and the cops have your spraycan.
You want to scare me, become a lawyer.
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, September 27, 2007
Yesterday, while I was waiting for a bus to take me home, a fat couple, man and woman, walked up to me and yelled at me, saying that because I'm an older woman, I'm a failure, and that anyone older than 30 deserves to die. When I responded by saying that since they are both obese, they would probably die...
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Declared by anonymous on Thursday, March 8, 2018
Just leave me alone, will you?
I do not care to answer your endless list of questions just because I'm going through something!
They are like snot coming out of my nose and never stops.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
My fellow americans, i am here to apoligize for my shitty job at being president. So please, Jihad on my old ass.
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
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Declared by George W. Bush on Tuesday, August 4, 2009
So glad that people want to Jihad you. You mean, selfish, cold blooded jerk. why do people hate you so much that they love you. Do us good and just dissappear.
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Declared by PomisBITCH on Saturday, April 21, 2012
"I'm placing a jihad on you!"
"Just, like, whatever.."
You will burn in the fires of hell for being such a pathetic way of ending a conversation.
Nothing about you is funny. The people who use you are not funny. The world would be a better place without you.
You are a statement used by a generation...
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Declared by Garry on Monday, October 8, 2007
I Don't give a fuck that you think life is harder for you than for everyone else, even though it isn't.
I don't give a fuck if you think you were right, proven wrong and can't accept it.
I don't give a fuck that it's 'everyone elses fault' that your life has fallen to shit.
I don't give a fuck that...
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Declared by I'm Done with this on Wednesday, September 3, 2008
You stupid cow! You took my K5 sunglasses and my betelnut. I will hunt you down to get those sunnies back. Even though I got them for half price special at TST!
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, November 30, 2011
For being so distasteful.. and for the irony of me using a website against itself..
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, October 7, 2007
I hate all of you, from the hipsters to the yuppies to the businessmen.
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Declared by Disgruntled Bostonian on Friday, July 24, 2009
Go fuck yourselves.
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Declared by Cat on Sunday, July 4, 2010