Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI declare jihad on you! May your salad be covered in dingleberries. May your ass grow ever wider. May your false bravado be crushed in a stream of your own tears. May you choke on a chicken bone and claw your way half-way out of your office where I will walk over your rotting corpse. May you be...
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Declared by Crenshaw on Friday, July 1, 2016
I often hear you talking about the Eagles - I think you grew up in Texas so SHUT THE FUCK UP. The Cowboys just fucked them up.
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Declared by M. The Tech on Tuesday, November 20, 2012
So you don't like your hours or your pay huh? Well do what the rest of us have to do (in the real world) and GET ANOTHER FUCKING JOB.
If you layabouts had to work in the real world where our pensions are worth £1.50 and there's no "sick rota" (you know what I mean you fuckers) then you'd have something...
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Declared by Jaxta on Friday, October 12, 2007
I am doing this because you have high speed internet and you don't play Halo 3!!! But seriously i hope you die and I played Halo 3 on line all day Saturday and it was spectacular.
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Declared by Casey on Monday, October 8, 2007
My idiot boss has fallen for anything with an English accent. Sales people and engineers that quit, and a project manager that could not manage his way out of a wet paper bag.
A pox and holy jihad upon you all.
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Declared by Verminator on Friday, October 19, 2007
You started with all this enthusiasm. Pointing out all the faults with our app. We declared we already knew. The app is old and was touched by many hands prior to yours. The old devs were long gone. "I will fix it!" you declared with enthusiasm. Ah but alas, now the app is riddled with your unfinished...
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Declared by Internal Developer on Wednesday, June 30, 2010
You will burn in Allah's hell for your crimes against humanity!!!
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Declared by Pakesh on Wednesday, February 25, 2009
You have made me feel good about myself, only to crush my dreams. You are a mean, mean man!! I DECLARE JIHAD ON YOU!!!!
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Declared by Aaron on Thursday, October 11, 2007
Just for being such a retarded piece of shit, I declare a Jihad on you.
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Declared by Alex on Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Energy vampire
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Declared by Al on Tuesday, October 2, 2007
To all the human resource people that can't take the time to reply to resume sent to them even after posting a job on the internet. For god sake at least set up an auto response. I wouldn't want to work for your crappy company anyway!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
Så se dog for helvede at få den forbandede eksportfunktion lavet!!! Det kan sgu da ikke være så svært!!! Har I nogen idé om, hvor meget det besværer vores arbejde, at I ikke laver jeres. Nu har I lovet at lave den i syv måneder!!!! Fuck, det for meget!!!
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Declared by Sur kone on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
To the ass kissing baby ass whore I have to work with,
You are pathetic and your ass kissing is disgusting. Earn your job by your work ethics and not your bullshit you feed everyone. You can't even do your work and you have a quarter of the work compared to others. Your a piece of shit and you have told...
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Declared by Peacemaker on Sunday, February 24, 2013
You're always so busy when anyone else needs something - writing that bullshit email, cleaning your desk, picking a wedgie from your 200lb ass. (I just threw up in my mouth a little) All I want is the phone number for the Human Resources office, but you're too busy. "Come back tomorrow!" I've got an idea,...
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Declared by FUKWURK on Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Because it seems to me that they care about rules more than they do about people. They read an amusing story about an employee who has fun of a stupid manager, and guess what they have to say? "He should be grateful he wasn't fired." Is there anything new under the sun?
Those conformists should inherit...
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Declared by Pulsa De Nura on Wednesday, April 30, 2008
You're snotty in the office and its getting worse. Damn you, you workplace infidel. I'm putting a jihad on you.
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, October 12, 2007
Stop harassing my girlfriend!
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
hes the smarmiest slimiest mutherfucking bastard cunt faced moose fisting jamrag licking twat bag wankstain dick wad ball bag arse licking cunt ever, if you ever speak to me like that ever again i will set you fucking house on fire
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, May 7, 2010
Finger weg von meinem Arbeitsplatz!
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Declared by Feliks on Monday, October 8, 2007
kuss umik
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, April 26, 2009