Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI cant help if it people get on my nerves!! All she does is gossip about me. What have I ever done to her? I found out that she was gossiping about me to everyone. Do I sit there and think I deserve it? Have I ever even spoken to her in my life? Like I said, I wont start something but I will react!
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Declared by sdfsdf on Sunday, July 17, 2011
I declare holy War
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Declared by Nigger on Sunday, September 8, 2013
We've been through a lot! We've hated and needed each other, or at least I thought so. I knew you'd never love me, but I grew attached anyway, despite your warning. I told you I loved you and your reaction was, "okay." I don't have it in me to stop with this, but I have to move on. You can't love me, you...
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Declared by Max on Thursday, May 3, 2018
Seriously? Is it that hard to reach out with your grubby fingers and hold down the Shift key for half a second? And what's with the completely random punctuation? Aren't you kids supposed to be getting an education? A jihad on you all for making my beautiful website look like an AOL chatroom.
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Declared by Skully on Monday, September 10, 2007
To all those who provide our team with crap... get your act together!
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Declared by H on Wednesday, February 20, 2008
(Notice: The author of this jihad was obviously an imbecile who couldn't find his own dick, much less locate the caps lock button. We're leaving his sad excuse for a jihad in its original form as a reminder to everyone of why this website exists - there are more than enough ass-hats in this world to go...
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Declared by Fuck You on Thursday, April 17, 2008
when i first met you, i thought you were cool and different. well turns out your different, but your not cool. i dont know if you realize this or not, but you are the biggest bitch to me. making fun of my nose, my accent, my clothes, friends, under the influenceness... what the fuck is wrong with you? i...
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Declared by twentyone. on Saturday, December 6, 2008
You are such a dick sometimes! Shut the fuck up with your dumb-ass Jewish jokes already, and learn how to pronounce Ricci ("ree-chee" not "ree-kee," you moron). I know you didn't even fucking ask Doug if Nate and Ronnie could come with--you're selfish and want to always be the center of attention--can't have...
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, May 4, 2009
I declare a Jihad on your ass!
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Declared by Becker on Monday, June 25, 2012
I declare war on your filthly non MLG ways
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Declared by Scrubrecker on Monday, November 9, 2015
Jihad to the imbecile GMs of Lineage 2 Southeast asia. Mass banning players with no investigations JIHAD ON YOU ALL
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
So...what happened? Barack becomes president and suddenly there's no more need for Black History Month? What happened to the cheesy commercials, the ridiculously racist clearance sales, the pointless, tacky flash ads, the poorly executed exhibits and galleries...the oh-so-serious, made-for-TV BET movies?...
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Declared by Douglas on Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A 40 something transsexual .
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Declared by Transsexual Hater on Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Hey you fucking dickhead, in case you didn't notice, there's a big button on the steering wheel that sounds the HORN ON YOUR VAN.
USE IT WISELY TO NOTIFY THE CUSTOMER OF YOUR EXISTANCE!!!
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Declared by EagleYS on Thursday, December 23, 2010
I fucking declare jihad on myself for being to cheap to get the damn book for my exam in time. I have eight days to write this thing and now I have to wait up to five days for the damn book, because I was hoping it would arrive at the library in time. I'm a fucking moron. Jihad on me.
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Declared by Josefine on Wednesday, May 1, 2013
you wont let me sleep with your big loud annoying ass mouth because no mother fucker would want to put their dick in it. just shut the fuck up and let me sleep or im going to parade a fucking zoo on your ass in the middle of december, that's right bitch, im going to send a gorillas dick in your mouth to make...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Why do politically correct social justice warriors get off on bossing everyone around, while calling people who don’t want to be dominated “asshats”? Why do politically correct social justice warriors who allegedly support freedom of speech ironically want to stamp out freedom of speech?
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, October 9, 2015
Avoid the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood, California. The management deliberately overlooks screenings of their movies, and then they create a fake, sham "stand-by" line, in which people stand for up to an hour and a half. Then the management turns these people away. The Egyptian Theater pulls this...
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, July 5, 2018
Deviled eggs come from evil chickens, an abomination to fowl everywhere. They should not be served at family gatherings.
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Declared by Jim on Monday, October 8, 2007
Stay in jail forever. Nothing that happens to you is my problem. I won't be sorry if you miss your son's circumcision.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 22, 2007