Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI declare jihad on you
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, October 11, 2007
I'm sick and tired of getting those calls for people looking for Daniel, when there's no fucking Daniel in this number.
Wrong number!!! How many times will I have to tell you that?
I hope the one to whom I said yesterday that I'm fed up with people looking for Daniel will read this.
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Declared by A Phone Owner on Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Bring back the Simpsons, you fuckers! OMG I can't believe you canceled the Simpsons just to show Friends!!! I don't even like that fucking show.
BRING BACK THE SIMPSONS!!!
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Declared by Simpsons Watcher on Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I wish I had listened to my boy not to hook up with this wretched fat cow, everyone know she nasty. Watch out - she has a thing for dark meat and hooking up at work.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, June 13, 2018
I'll never understand the loony contradictions of politically correct, social justice warrior liberals, progressives, and liberal feminists regarding crime. On the one hand, they want rapists to be locked up - which is something everyone agrees with - but on the other hand, they say they want all criminals...
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, June 9, 2017
I’m putting a practice Jihad on my buddy TJ.
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Declared by Jason on Monday, August 28, 2017
Seriously? Is it that hard to reach out with your grubby fingers and hold down the Shift key for half a second? And what's with the completely random punctuation? Aren't you kids supposed to be getting an education? A jihad on you all for making my beautiful website look like an AOL chatroom.
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Declared by Skully on Monday, September 10, 2007
Die, niggers, DIE!!!!
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Declared by PE on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Stay in jail forever. Nothing that happens to you is my problem. I won't be sorry if you miss your son's circumcision.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 22, 2007
(Notice: The author of this jihad was obviously an imbecile who couldn't find his own dick, much less locate the caps lock button. We're leaving his sad excuse for a jihad in its original form as a reminder to everyone of why this website exists - there are more than enough ass-hats in this world to go...
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Declared by Fuck You on Thursday, April 17, 2008
What annoys me is when someone has been gossiping about me. It really annoys me alot!! Esp when it comes back into my ears. Why would you talk about me? Something that I know I will react to. I dont talk about other people usually. But I will react when I find out someone's been gossiping about me!!
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Declared by dfgdfg on Thursday, July 14, 2011
YOU ARE FILTHY PEASANTS
Also like am I not allowed to complain about anything because "aw poor you emotional teenager???" like I HAVE A REASON TO BE ANGRY, this isn't some strop about nothing. You never listen, and then moan at me for using the electricity when I could get a new one for 2 quid.
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Declared by Bob fucking marley on Saturday, April 19, 2014
bitch ass sayin u asexual u don't know what the fuck it even means u fake u fake as fuck
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Declared by furious gay on Thursday, September 29, 2016
This crazy, deranged psycho Asian/South Pacific/Thai/Philippina woman in my building in Studio City, Los Angeles County stated that Los Angeles Police Chief Charlie Beck is her sexual boyfriend, therefore my mom, Isabel Nupoll, and I and other people in our building at 4326 Babcock Ave., Studio City,...
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Declared by anonymous victim of PC bullies on Saturday, March 11, 2017
You smelly, dumb, mooing, fat, block the road, knock over the fence bastards who wouldn't even exist in this fucking world if it weren't for humans taking care of you. You should all die and be processed into tasty meats.
Because you sure are tasty.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
So...what happened? Barack becomes president and suddenly there's no more need for Black History Month? What happened to the cheesy commercials, the ridiculously racist clearance sales, the pointless, tacky flash ads, the poorly executed exhibits and galleries...the oh-so-serious, made-for-TV BET movies?...
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Declared by Douglas on Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Suck my rectum bitch
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, July 1, 2013
fuck you for trying to kill yourself after everything and you leave me a one sentence goodbye.. no.. fuck you..
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Declared by mom on Sunday, December 10, 2017
To all those who provide our team with crap... get your act together!
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Declared by H on Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I wonder how you manage to be so successful. I hate how you had offered me to join your business. We'd met once, then I made some research so we can continue together. Then I have to try time and time again to call you and schedule another meeting. And some sunny day you tell me to call you the next day. The...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, June 21, 2008