Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoYou didn't freaking tell us we could retake one test per year, you infidel!
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Declared by A & E on Thursday, May 28, 2009
You're just another Tumblr social justice warrior jerk, because you made the idiotic comment that "literally all Americans hate" the U.S. educational system. How do you know that - did you actually interview and conduct a survey with literally all Americans in order to determine this? Somehow, I doubt very...
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Declared by anonymous on Saturday, July 4, 2015
I love butt sex with you but now that you have cheated on me with jackson, I feel our love is lost.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, February 3, 2016
I can't stand it when you rub up on me. Like I understand that I'm irresistible but you have to keep in mind that I'm straight and giving me a boner whenever you lick my ears only makes me question my sexuality. I do not want to take things any further than this, so I hope the next time we meet up, you don't...
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Declared by Prasher on Sunday, April 1, 2018
dear sloan,
freaking pass the goshdang ball. stop being a bish. im wide open so pass it. this is lacrosse not track. pass the ball. JIHAD ON YOU!!!!!
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Declared by TEAMPLAYER on Wednesday, May 17, 2017
A Jihad on you Tom Southee. You lazy, prat tosser!!!
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, March 22, 2018
People who spit in public insult Allah and will perish in the burning put of eternal damnation
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, October 7, 2007
BECUASE YOU SMELL BAD!!!!!!!
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Declared by Joe on Monday, October 8, 2007
You guys suck and you have crappy ads which are fuckin annoying!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
I declare holy Jihad on the bastard in my office who keeps interrupting me while I declare jihad on my co-workers.
A pox on your winkie infidel.
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Declared by verminator on Friday, November 2, 2007
I'm 27 and I've never even gotten close to marrying someone...why? Because I'm still an idiot and don't understand anything in life, much less how to live it with someone else.
You're all doomed to failure. You will have four divorces under your belt by the time you're my age. I hope you enjoy hyphenated...
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Declared by Jealous, probably on Sunday, February 10, 2008
I hate this fucking job the manager is is a bitch who cant speak english properly and yet has the time to find things that i do about it then let the whole company know about it .Fuck u Bitch i hope you get hit by a bus. slant eye mother fucker
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Declared by the man on Wednesday, March 17, 2010
You always stand on the balcony when making phone calls; your voice is loud, jarring and annoying, and the things you say are idiotic. I don't mind.
Your dog (if that ten-pound fluffy white battery-operated little squaler can even be considered a dog) has a hysterical, nerve-wracking little bark and employs...
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Declared by Glen on Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Jihad on myself... I ruined my chance with a girl I am in love with. I will never forgive myself... so it's Jihad time bitches! Bring yo' AKs, bring those grenades nigga' 'coz this means war. Swallow it! Swallow it, nigga'!!!
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Declared by NWA on Sunday, January 13, 2013
I had this previous best friend in this school and all she said does pure and utter bullshit.
I will elaborate one bullshit she is doing.
It was when she makes herself look bad at her internet friends. I mean come on, she said that most of her internet friends are either all depressed or have problems in...
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, November 23, 2017
They are killing the gameplay of the game to make money! They are abandoning it's founding players for cash!
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Declared by Vile Knight on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
My boss is a raging bitch...there's no better way to put it. I am convinced that she was put on this earth for the sole reason of making each workday worse than the last. It's pretty fucked up when i stop think about it...each day i go to work and run an internal monologue saying, "there's no way today is...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, October 14, 2007
With there marijuana is dangerous lies
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Declared by chungchowchingychungcho on Wednesday, November 14, 2007
For engaging the OECD in a blatant political stunt by declaring War on Carbon.
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Declared by JCM on Saturday, March 8, 2008
I am going to jihad you, Glenn. Why won't you accept my advances? I just want you for one last infidelity. PLEASE - homosexuality isn't a crime. It is a righteous passion, and we will not be judged for it.
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Declared by Woody on Thursday, February 5, 2009