Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI don't always hate you
I hate that you are so big and round and as I am told spherical
I hate the people in you that tell me I must always have money
I hate money in a way
It keeps me from the people I want to be nearest to
You keep me from the one I hope to love
Why must you be so big
4000 miles is...
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Declared by PJ on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
saaale bahut bolta hai tu....
isliye jihad karta hoon tere against
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Declared by rakesh on Monday, October 15, 2007
I moved out here from CA so I know I'm spoiled but, come on! You people really live like this?! You have no personality and you all sound the same blah blah blah, "I'm really important and my dad owns this company", "we drive a Beamer", "here's my business card". I don't care how important you are if you're...
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Declared by Left Coast on Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Just for being such a retarded piece of shit, I declare a Jihad on you.
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Declared by Alex on Tuesday, October 30, 2007
This Stack of Shitty Hamburgers has been constantly telling me stuff I ALREADY FUCKING KNEW! Wow, Bush Lied, Medicine Sucks, and Flint Michigan is a total depressing shitstain on the map? whatever. I can dig what you're saying but do you have to be so smug about it? No Fatfuck Asshole will be smitten with...
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Declared by Non-Voting American on Saturday, December 22, 2007
I Don't give a fuck that you think life is harder for you than for everyone else, even though it isn't.
I don't give a fuck if you think you were right, proven wrong and can't accept it.
I don't give a fuck that it's 'everyone elses fault' that your life has fallen to shit.
I don't give a fuck that...
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Declared by I'm Done with this on Wednesday, September 3, 2008
I'm a model. There's no competition. My husband thinks you are disgusting. With that said, if you so much as LOOK at my husband again, you're going to wish you were whoring it up on the corner again.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, February 28, 2011
My abusive mother, who has always physically beaten me and verbally abused me, NEVER sleeps. She's 81 years old, and she stays awake up to 72 hours, like the a-hole she is. My horrible mother stays awake for literally days at a time, either reading the same newspaper article hundreds of times in a row, or...
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Declared by anon. on Wednesday, February 24, 2016
In Accordance to the will of Allah this Jihad hath been declared upon thine head for the following attrocities against the nation of Islam:
Cutting and preparing the swine to be feast upon by the gluttunous american infidels. May you and your job burn in the fiery pits of hell fire while the true martyrs...
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Declared by Emom Smith on Thursday, November 1, 2007
My mother is a dumb asshole that keeps talking me outside to shop when she doesn't even know what she wants from the supermarket and spends and hour looking for what she wants making me walk around with all the heavy things when she herself clearly can't carry it around either. I hate how long she takes to...
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, June 23, 2011
FUCKING UGLY TOSSER
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Declared by CHARLES on Friday, January 20, 2012
I can't do this anymore
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, June 1, 2013
you're so right wing
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Declared by me on Saturday, August 23, 2014
For not visiting me in Leipzig until NOW!
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Declared by laurence on Monday, October 8, 2007
I hate Hollywood. It is full of sexist men and dumb women who can't write/play descent rolls for women. What is wrong with you people. MEN - you afraid of conservative, strong confident women who don't take their clothes will shrink your penis? Too late, your penis is already small. WOMEN - why you so stupid...
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Declared by ConservativeGoodLookingAndMoral on Friday, August 21, 2009
So (stereo)typical. Of course you didn't have the guts to make a decent break-up *before* getting all close and intimate with that art historian. Well, fuck each other's brains out, for all I care. You're not getting your BSG dvds back.
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Declared by cjfdjghvbm on Sunday, May 9, 2010
A lie by omission is still a lie. cmon pimping stop the bullshit forreal forreal!
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, October 23, 2011
no more. please.
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 2, 2013
Jihad on you, you idiot Bitch! Look at you! Look what you have done to yourself! You DESERVE the tears you are shedding! Why? Because you ASSHOLE, you are here venting at yourself instead of doing what needs to be done! Even though you've dug yourself such a deep grave it is probably IMPOSSIBLE to fix the...
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Declared by Lauren on Wednesday, January 11, 2017
YOU SUCK. OMG OMG OMG OMG.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007