Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoDear Gatekeeper, thank you for making me suffer all these years thinking
about you. I almost risked going the deep end recently, but I finally
convinced myself that you are just pretending to like me back in college.
You don't know the hell I have gone through just to work things out, that
one...
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Declared by Keymaster on Tuesday, August 12, 2014
ДЖЫХАД!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, June 25, 2012
You are so jihadded! Dhor loves mcdonalds, why save him from it?! You are wasting my time! DHOR BELONG IN MCDONALDS!
JIHAD ON YOU!
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Declared by Dhors mcdonalds helper on Sunday, May 19, 2013
Since you are such a sanctimonious jerkface promoting your own preferences at other people, including you fucking taste for music. There's one thing I can do to get back at you. I'll put up my New Wave collection... a genre you always hate... on high volume during the day when you plan to sleep after your...
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Declared by Mad but Glad on Wednesday, February 22, 2017
I declare holy War
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Declared by Nigger on Sunday, September 8, 2013
Neurotically politically correct, fanatical social justice warriors are power-hungry bullies who are not so much interested in justice as they are in bossing other people around. And the jerks who defend PC bullies by calling their critics asshats are the REAL asshats. Nobody who’s intelligent would...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, August 5, 2015
dini huera fraueschüss bim tschüttele göndmer sowas vu uf dnüss
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Declared by Flo on Monday, October 8, 2007
Young folk who think it's fun to let off fireworks at 10:30 at night.
Ha ha, only it's not funny as I've got to tiny folk who are trying to sleep, and are scared shitless by the loud bangs.
Little Scroutes, save it for bonfire night.
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Declared by Matt on Friday, October 12, 2007
For forming strongly-held opinions about dimly-understood topics, for insulting his intellectual and moral superiors, for going above and beyond the call of decency, for being a total PSYCHO and for general asshattery, Jihad on you, you infidel PC Nazi douchebag!
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Declared by Zulfiqar al-Amriki on Monday, October 29, 2007
(Notice: The author of this jihad was obviously an imbecile who couldn't find his own dick, much less locate the caps lock button. We're leaving his sad excuse for a jihad in its original form as a reminder to everyone of why this website exists - there are more than enough ass-hats in this world to go...
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Declared by Fuck You on Thursday, April 17, 2008
Jihad on you, you lowbrow, sick bastards! I swear if I notice ONE kilobyte difference in speed I will fucking stalk you and hunt you down!
Signed,
The guy who will now have to put up with a super-slow under dialup speed until his next bill comes (a month away) or until the ISP rings up and says they...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Yes, I think you're ugly. You ARE ugly. You look every day of your age plus more- and as ugly as you are on the outside, it doesn't compare to how ugly you are on the inside
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, April 1, 2010
I love universtiy because all my profs claim to be teaching us to think on our own.
The thing they bring up most is "breaking preconcieved notions"
I have heard this f*cking qoute millions of times. I have heard it so many times that I think those are the only words left in my vocabulary.
...No...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Child supporttttttttttt! Fake lying trying to look good ass. You cant if you dont take care of your family! You worried about what? Haha you about to be worried about something totally different. You have looked the other way one too many times while your family was suffering. You tried with the I love yous...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, July 16, 2011
I cant help if it people get on my nerves!! All she does is gossip about me. What have I ever done to her? I found out that she was gossiping about me to everyone. Do I sit there and think I deserve it? Have I ever even spoken to her in my life? Like I said, I wont start something but I will react!
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Declared by sdfsdf on Sunday, July 17, 2011
FUCK OFF POLICE
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Declared by MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS on Saturday, December 3, 2011
for fucks sake give me a god damn break once in a while
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Declared by mike on Tuesday, February 18, 2014
why do you always fucking be so hyprocritical like goddamn you need to shut the hell up all you need is another dick to suck cuz one day youre in love with boy 1 and then the other boy 2 like jesus christ ana and shes just like my mom constantly nagging and whenever im nagging she calls me a bitch and she...
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, September 1, 2014
You're just another Tumblr social justice warrior jerk, because you made the idiotic comment that "literally all Americans hate" the U.S. educational system. How do you know that - did you actually interview and conduct a survey with literally all Americans in order to determine this? Somehow, I doubt very...
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Declared by anonymous on Saturday, July 4, 2015
I declare jihad on you! May your salad be covered in dingleberries. May your ass grow ever wider. May your false bravado be crushed in a stream of your own tears. May you choke on a chicken bone and claw your way half-way out of your office where I will walk over your rotting corpse. May you be...
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Declared by Crenshaw on Friday, July 1, 2016