Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoWhy do people talk to me about stuff I don't care about? Am I just too nice of a person to tell them to fuck off. If I am saying "Yeah", "Right", "Uh-huh" it's because I don't have anything to say and I couldn't care less about your problems. Chances are I just want to get off the phone and stab myself in...
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Declared by Ted on Thursday, September 20, 2007
My Girlfriend
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Die.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
If I wanted to hear Pink I would play it myslef. Not that I own a Pink album.
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Declared by Eddie Izzard on Monday, October 8, 2007
You psycho ass motherfucker! You are going to run this company into the ground! You couldn't manage to get yourself out of a wet paper sack, how and the hell do you expect to manage your employees? You act like we are friends to our faces, but yet you talk about everyone of us behind our backs. That is why I...
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Declared by Indecon Employees on Monday, October 8, 2007
Uck! I just want her to GO AWAY!
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Declared by Ricky on Monday, October 8, 2007
I am declaring Jihad on you for lack of coffee making
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Declared by Brian Bin Laden on Thursday, October 11, 2007
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he...
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Declared by Broke American on Monday, October 15, 2007
You suck! Stand up and be counted you fkn SHEEP! And, for God Sakes quit procreating!!!
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Declared by Major Majority on Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Ok, even back in the 80's neon never flattered anyone, so please tell me why people in Ukraine are walking around with neon hair mullets! Mullets did not become cool after Joe Dirt, so why in the world are people actually cutting their hair into what they call a fashionably new mullet and then adding neon...
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Declared by Erock on Thursday, October 18, 2007
Just for being such a retarded piece of shit, I declare a Jihad on you.
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Declared by Alex on Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Professors need to stop giving points to people just because they raised their hand and said something stupid in class. I did not pay thousands of dollars to hear some idiot student talk about how her trip to the Bahamas relates to globalization!
If students have something interesting to say... then...
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Declared by AmericanU on Monday, November 5, 2007
All Americans, hands down. No exceptions.
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Declared by Jose Castillo on Sunday, January 20, 2008
FUCK YOU. you don't tell me it's my fucking responsibility to ask about my own health issues such as hepatitis. jesus fucking christ im only sixteen! which fucking 16 year old would worry about getting hepatitis from eating a bunch of clams?! fuck you, trying to pin it on me, it's my duty i'm old enough?...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, November 29, 2008
Get real. The truth is that there is a huge majority of people who masturbate, in fact, there are less people who don't.
The UK Health Board even encourages it.
Now, go fuck yourself, assholes. DO IT. NOW.
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Declared by Hey, Masturbator! on Friday, December 11, 2009
Will be rated DOWN!
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Declared by EagleYS on Thursday, October 28, 2010
Shut the fuck up!
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Declared by DylanTheRocker on Sunday, April 3, 2011
Why the hell is my life so awesome. I cant complain about it because I am so "fortunate". Hell. Screw me.
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Declared by Your Neighborhood Rich Dick on Friday, May 20, 2011
Jeez, you're starting to piss me off now. I loved you so much although I wasn't with you, but still. You led me on by flirting w/ me 24/7 and showing ALL the signs that you liked me, and then next day, when some girl who broke up w/ her boyfriend, what? 3 days ago, starts dating you? WTF, kid. Jeez, honey....
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Declared by Chelsea on Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I can't do this anymore
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, June 1, 2013