Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
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Declared by alan on Sunday, April 20, 2014
To the A-Hole cell phone thief at Los Angeles MTA Redline station: You stole my smart phone sometime after midnight (it had a bright pink case), and you are a schmuck who had been sodomized (raped in the anus) by your grandfather when you were a little kid. That's why you commit crimes like stealing people's...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Deviled eggs come from evil chickens, an abomination to fowl everywhere. They should not be served at family gatherings.
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Declared by Jim on Monday, October 8, 2007
Bring back the Simpsons, you fuckers! OMG I can't believe you canceled the Simpsons just to show Friends!!! I don't even like that fucking show.
BRING BACK THE SIMPSONS!!!
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Declared by Simpsons Watcher on Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I place upon you a jihad in the name of Allah, due to the fact that it is politically incorrect to shag sheep all day and claim that you're straight
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Declared by SpongeBob on Friday, January 11, 2008
Seriously. Two hours of wide ranging and interesting conversation, then you decide to just start ignoring me when you discover my sexual preference. (something that I was done talking about after one line) It's amazing how ridiculously shallow a person can turn out to be after seeming so deep and...
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Declared by Louis on Tuesday, December 8, 2009
To call a woman a “whore” because she’s not your ideal person is laughably corny and trite. Really childish and retarded!
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Declared by Anon on Saturday, April 11, 2015
JIHAD on the lying bore, Erik Taylor. He refuses to believe that I want him to leave me alone. I can't stand him & any contact with him is unpleasant. I just want him to go away. Forever.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, September 30, 2009
For beeswax burning assholes sake! Stop looking at other women online! Stop not going out anywhere on your own, you're disgusting, you're lazy, you're poor, you've bled me dry and still treat me like shit. Move out AL-FUCKING-READY!
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Declared by Native Fury on Tuesday, September 19, 2017
I declare Jihad on you Office of Financial Research, Department of the Treasury for firing the one employee in Operations Department that worked and got things done. Were you afraid he was showing you up? Apparently so. Because your reasons for firing him were total bullshit..
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Declared by Group sent from OFR employees on Saturday, June 27, 2015
I have been patient with you long enough. You can fix the air vents, the fire alarms, and the carpet when I move out. Today, I am warning you, stay the hell out of my room! That skull is on the doorknob for a reason! Your time would be better spent fixing the damn internet!
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Declared by Territorial Evil Bitch on Tuesday, January 7, 2014
You're tech is shit, you fucked up youtube, you stalk us for fucking ads, and google, just an all around bull shit company. Have a chromebook, lost all of my fucking work. "we automatically save" FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Declared by I hate everything on Sunday, August 10, 2014
People who consider themselves as liberal leftists are rapists, because they have sexual fantasies about sexually raping children as young as five years old, while sexually fantasizing about trannies. Very disturbing
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Declared by anonymous on Sunday, March 26, 2017
i hope you burn in hell for making me live in it. i hope you realise someday that taking away my life is not going to make yours any better. i hope you die so i can live without you controlling every fucking aspect of my life. i hope you realise that the year's worth of self harm on my arms is not "the cat."...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, December 1, 2015
US GIRLS DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SEX-LIFE WITH YOUR EX.
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Declared by Destiny on Saturday, May 14, 2016
Sperm donor that is what I call u cause that is basically all u have ever done for your kids. U selfish bastard stealing ur kids savings and mine putting me ur 18month old and 8 months pregnant out on the streets taking all the money I have ever saved plus my credit. U will pay for this.
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Declared by Single angry mother on Tuesday, September 6, 2016
I think my reasons are pretty obvious.
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Declared by Kim on Monday, October 8, 2007
Those pigs in the higher echelons of the American military-indutstrial complex who have taken over this country, making us believe that we live in a democracy, when in fact they constantly do shit that the majority of people do not support. You pigs support right-wing dictators while talking shit about...
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Declared by Che on Tuesday, December 18, 2007
You're the wacko - not ME! Jihad On YOU!
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, December 21, 2007
Smell my ass.
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Declared by Smellmyass on Wednesday, January 30, 2013