Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoWhat the fuck is so cool about this guy? He screams gay to me. He fucking acted in Mickey Mouse Club, motherfuckers, Mickey Mouse Club! That club has produced tons of trainwrecks like Britney (she's cool now, but she had her dark times), Xtina (was cool, but I think she's doing coke right now), and...
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Declared by falafel on Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Get. Out. Of. My. WAY!!! Why are you all awake and driving this early in the morning? This is my one chance to make it to the office in a reasonable amount of time and you're ruining it!!! There's no reason why it should take me 1.5 hours to drive 28 miles at 5AM...
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Declared by Dave on Friday, September 14, 2007
Oh, you self-righteous expression of intolerance and ignorance fused together in some socially atrophied amalgam of petulance the likes of which has never before been seen on a global scale, you who afford an ethos of violence and vengeance under the guise of divine retribution, promising a salvation which...
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Declared by Conor on Sunday, October 7, 2007
For crimes against fluid loss!
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Declared by Al Jimbad on Monday, October 8, 2007
Of course, I love you. But do you know how many times I've wanted to look you straight in the eyes and say "If you don't listen to me I'm going to burn this house down"?
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
You didn't come to work with me. Now you are jihad target!
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Declared by Matt Williamson on Monday, October 8, 2007
jihad na tebaaaa
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Declared by jakubko on Monday, October 8, 2007
I mean, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! I shouted at this guy in a car...he happened to be black...you wanker!! (cos he was driving like a twat) and he got out and said i called him a black cunt! Im not fucking racist!!!!!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
Just leave me alone, will you?
I do not care to answer your endless list of questions just because I'm going through something!
They are like snot coming out of my nose and never stops.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
My broadband has been down for over a month now, you fuckers. Yes, i've disconnected all the cables and rebooted the modem. Yes, i've checked the microfilter. Yes, i've waited for you to do a line test four times now. Yes, I think you're all totally fucking incompetent.
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Declared by Bandrew Mcloud on Friday, October 12, 2007
To the fuck head that just put shoe polish on my car. I will find you and fuck you up. You have just damaged the paint on my car. There is no fucking reason for you or anyone to do this; you are just a rude, inconsiderate little fucker that deserves nothing else but death because you will never, ever have a...
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Declared by Kyoceira on Sunday, October 21, 2007
If you'd screwed me in the car on the abandoned hiway that night, not only would we still be together, but we'd both be much much happier. I would've made it worth it...infidel.
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Declared by me on Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Professors need to stop giving points to people just because they raised their hand and said something stupid in class. I did not pay thousands of dollars to hear some idiot student talk about how her trip to the Bahamas relates to globalization!
If students have something interesting to say... then...
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Declared by AmericanU on Monday, November 5, 2007
It is with grave determination to preserve the teachings of holy Islam and to uphold my submission to Allah the Merciful by declaring Jihad on you and your wretched family. Be afraid Michael, be very afraid, for Allah will not be merciful to any member of your household.
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Declared by Bob on Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Bastards! always standing there in the streets with your lights up high gangsta style, as if you were better then us,
I HOPE YOU DIE and become a midget
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Declared by streetlight opponent on Monday, February 16, 2009
Christ they are ripping people off with their organic glycerine soaps I bought from highland soaps.
Their stuff is shite so Jihad on them!!
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Declared by The Undead on Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I put the holy jihad on all this sucking fucking shit painted 3D movies in the cinemas! They fail, they are so bad. Damned shit!
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Declared by thor on Thursday, February 17, 2011
Sorry man but you had it coming. Derka Derkastan
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Declared by Nick Vaughn on Saturday, May 28, 2011
Hey John D. Well I know what the "d" stands for. Don't you? All I can say is, before you turn the key on your ignition, ask yourself, "do I feel lucky?" " is my engine going to start, or am I sitting on top of a gigantic I.E.D." Well, do ya punk????
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, May 27, 2012
To everyone at the wine tasting table at last weekend's wedding:
All of you were gushing about the wine selection and how delicious and wonderful it was. Bullshit! It was disgusting because wine is always disgusting. It tastes like chemicals.
When you say you "love" a glass of wine, aren't you really...
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Declared by Ashley on Tuesday, September 11, 2007