Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoTo you goes the BIGGEST jihad! Stop trying to be a jew. It's really annoying. You don't have a "jew fro" no matter how much you try telling yourself that you do. Just because all of your friends got bat mitzfahed, doesn't mean that you can parade around like Larry David. Larry David is funny, you are not....
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Declared by Babe on Thursday, December 31, 2009
Son of B*tch man! It's like the F*cken universe justed wanted to test me this entire week. Not only do I have the typical BS in school to deal with but also stereotypes that have been crammed down my throat once again! Also one of my friends is pissing me off again! She's a great friend in the long run but...
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, October 28, 2011
A Jihad on you for crumby arabic television and providing it to the goyim
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Declared by Abu Nassar on Thursday, June 20, 2013
Why does my husband insist on being friends with idiots? I feel so alone whenever he is with his friends, because his friends are so fricken dumb, not the kind of people I would ever want to associate with! Today after work I came home and felt like I could barely talk to him about my day, the fact that it...
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Declared by Amanda on Thursday, February 7, 2013
I fucking declare jihad on myself for being to cheap to get the damn book for my exam in time. I have eight days to write this thing and now I have to wait up to five days for the damn book, because I was hoping it would arrive at the library in time. I'm a fucking moron. Jihad on me.
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Declared by Josefine on Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Your food is to unhealthy! I know a person called dhor, he is addicted to mcdonalds and teamboxes! He eat like 3 times mcdonalds a day!
JIHAD ON YOU MCDONALDS
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Declared by dhors health consulent on Saturday, May 18, 2013
why are you even in this group if you don't do anything?
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 2, 2013
A jihad upon you for writing buggy code
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Declared by Ben on Monday, October 8, 2007
I feel suffocated by it. So many people are hazy with their judgment because of it. It makes me feel alone yet surrounded by idiots.
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Declared by Caungardh on Monday, October 8, 2007
Anyone who is having so much school work they don't have enough time to spend with their family(a.k.a. get drunk), help me with the Jihad.
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Declared by Mgccl on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
i declare war over fuckin stoopid old cunting faggots that let there kids play 18 rated computer games then kick up a massive fuss when they see a bit of violence in it. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU LET YOUR KIDS PLAY THEM, you fucking stoopid tossing wank heads!!!! if you dont want your kids to play them dont...
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Declared by butters on Friday, October 19, 2007
Damn you Corpus spongiosum which enables me to get erect, you get me hard at the worst times!
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Declared by Fustrated and Erect. on Saturday, November 3, 2007
Professors need to stop giving points to people just because they raised their hand and said something stupid in class. I did not pay thousands of dollars to hear some idiot student talk about how her trip to the Bahamas relates to globalization!
If students have something interesting to say... then...
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Declared by AmericanU on Monday, November 5, 2007
For you to being Racingst and Not Nyse to me since i Cum in ur asscuntry!!!
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Declared by Mr. Gemini on Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Comcast Community MODS are biased assholes
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, September 14, 2008
I declare JIHAD on the smoking tenant upstairs! WE share the same God DAMN cooling system! Your second-hand smoke comes through my vents and makes me SICK! May I add we live in a NON-SMOKING apartment complex.Your addicted ass can go outside and smoke your lungs away! Do not smoke inside where I get your...
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Declared by Anita on Monday, August 4, 2008
Hey you low life dried up old prune. Still working your ass off trying to get ahead? Still scratching your ass and picking your nose with the same finger? C'mon, drop the socks and grab yo cock and pump yourself up out of there. Oh! I forgot, you don't have one. HA, HA,HA,HA!
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Declared by Chuck on Saturday, November 22, 2008
Why did you steal that stuff from Orlando Culinary Institute? You need to bring it back or I am telling the dean. And I am tired of you always bumming cigarettes and change from me. You pothead!
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Declared by Bradley on Sunday, June 13, 2010
Outlook, damn you and all of your piss poor ass programmers and company. Bastard app of crap, why did you tell me the meeting was tomorrow when it was actually today? You are hated.
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Declared by Ben on Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Ryan Higa, AKA "NigaHiga," has been the most subscribed Youtuber for far too long!!! Most of his subscribers don't even watch his videos!!!
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Declared by The Book of HA on Thursday, June 3, 2010