Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI declare jihad on Torres, for signing for a team he’s far too good for and in the process dragging them far higher than they deserve to be, thus upsetting the natural order of the universe.
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Declared by Wenger's son on Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Screw you, with your affirmative action, legacy loving, and "unusual/messed up" supporting (you let in a guy/girl/thing because he/she/it was transgender, and you don't let me in??) policies. What kind of people are you anyway - deciding the fates of students who are better than you to a school that is...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 28, 2009
It is with grave determination to preserve the teachings of holy Islam and to uphold my submission to Allah the Merciful by declaring Jihad on you and your wretched family. Be afraid Michael, be very afraid, for Allah will not be merciful to any member of your household.
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Declared by Bob on Tuesday, December 9, 2008
I hear all of the stupid shit heads out there saying that going to a school that is not a state school is a waste of time and will ruin your life. A degree is a degree and I'm gonna get a job anyway so leave me the fuck alone you lame ass future cubical prairie dogs.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I declare a jihad on all the teachers that piss me off. Most of all il-panda
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Declared by xXxMALTIxXx on Saturday, January 16, 2010
I hate him he acts like my mom belongs to him we never go anywhere with them we never hang out with them. He loves his dog more than he loves us.
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, February 26, 2011
I dont like the Big 3 car cos. They are too big and make fat ass cars
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Declared by RJ on Wednesday, March 6, 2013
I put the holy jihad on all this sucking fucking shit painted 3D movies in the cinemas! They fail, they are so bad. Damned shit!
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Declared by thor on Thursday, February 17, 2011
I dont know what exactly is getting on my nerves but somethings on my nerves! I dont know what it is???
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Declared by sdfsd on Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I will rain fire down upon you and burn you in the deepest circle of hell. you're cutting me out of important meetings and so I will brand you with hell reincarnate
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 25, 2011
My only wish is that you get stoned in a public market for spamming me.
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Declared by Gay Allah on Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Why don't you let your friends make there own decisions. You manipulate them all into liking someone that they don't like. LEAVE them be.
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Declared by GirlinLove on Saturday, April 21, 2012
you broke my heart.
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 2, 2013
They try to talk about sports. They try to play video games. They try to make dirty jokes and burp and fart and act tough... It's disgusting and unfeminine and unbecoming and it won't ever get you laid. If you act like one of the guys, you'll be treated like one of the guys. I don't date the guys. I date...
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Declared by Philip Thomas on Monday, September 10, 2007
Get. Out. Of. My. WAY!!! Why are you all awake and driving this early in the morning? This is my one chance to make it to the office in a reasonable amount of time and you're ruining it!!! There's no reason why it should take me 1.5 hours to drive 28 miles at 5AM...
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Declared by Dave on Friday, September 14, 2007
I was just a boy when the infidels came into my village in their Black Hawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fire...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 2, 2007
What is it with genY guys wanting to be like chicks?
Drop the makeup (yes toner is makeup) and ditch the teapot. It only appeals to other men ... is that what you want ?
Get a real car, and stop wearing lemon coloured work shirts ... ditch the fangipanis from everywhere.
You are a man! Get Hummer...
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Declared by The Anti-Frange on Monday, October 8, 2007
I just had it with these uber british nouns.
Use them in the UK if you must but dont pollute the air around me with these horrid sounding words.
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Declared by Rune on Monday, October 8, 2007
datengatumatii!
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Declared by Brucolacul on Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Hey Dick head. When are you going to get out of that hell hole you are working in and get a real job? Still kissing Rons ass? What about Eddie's ass?
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, April 15, 2009