Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
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Declared by Peter on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Allah commands me to ask the Ayatollahs to grant my jihad against all those "Apple Fanboys" who would negatively rate my earlier jihad against Steve Jobs for "excessive emotional duress" I had to endure trying to get his inferior product installed and working correctly. Praise Allah-Death To Infidels!
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Declared by Mullah Omar on Thursday, October 11, 2007
You play in the PAC 10. You have no conference championship game. You have been overrated since 2002. Now shut the hell up. FUSC.
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Declared by LSU on Monday, October 15, 2007
My evil sisters for letting there 3 year old daugters jump on my head when i was sleeping
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Declared by chris on Thursday, October 18, 2007
I would like to declare Jihad on James for being the most prolific lighter thief the world has ever seen!
No flame-creating device is safe when Jimmie's in town, pass one his way to fire up that blunt and it will never be seen again! ........ever!!
Some say he has a small lighter disposal unit...
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Declared by Vivian Burns on Thursday, October 25, 2007
She thinks that she can call herself empress and usurp all my power. Oh, she is wrong, dead wrong. She will pay for this treachery.
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Declared by DL on Tuesday, December 11, 2007
FUCK YOU. you don't tell me it's my fucking responsibility to ask about my own health issues such as hepatitis. jesus fucking christ im only sixteen! which fucking 16 year old would worry about getting hepatitis from eating a bunch of clams?! fuck you, trying to pin it on me, it's my duty i'm old enough?...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thanks a lot for nothing. You shitty, butt ugly mongrel bastards. Perhaps you're all that way because of the lack of sex you're getting, due to the fact that not only are you all ugly, you're fairly stupid as well.
You are part of the reason I've started thinking that friends are overrated. What the hell...
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Declared by Adobo Fiend on Thursday, May 7, 2009
Preemptive strike. BURPPP! (Milk burp coming at you)
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Declared by Chris Fong on Monday, May 10, 2010
FUCKING UGLY TOSSER
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Declared by CHARLES on Friday, January 20, 2012
You're were my boyfriend and so we broke up because we weren't working. Why did you not care about me enough to make it work?! I'm so angry at you. I want to shake you and hurt you until I can break down your walls... But I won't, because I shouldn't have to convince someone to fight for me.
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Declared by Rachel on Thursday, May 3, 2012
I HATE YOU
YOU STUPID TERRORIST. GO BLOW UP A BUILDING OR SOMETHING
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Declared by Cole Tucker on Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Foootball Choooossssss !!!!!!!!!! prepare yourselves !!!!!!1
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Dear Fuckface,
Did you know that you are fucking, fuck-face? No seriously, I want to slam a giant, hardened terd-club into your jack-hole and then kick you in the pussi-fied, dickless area between your legs where your cock sharnk up into you flabby fleshness, oh so long ago.
You and your...
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Declared by Tyler on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
you are not FUCKING straight edge or hardcore cough cough cough
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Declared by MR X on Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Im going to get myself a cupcake today!
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Declared by twertwe on Saturday, July 16, 2011
PENIS.
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, November 1, 2014
I'd like to know who the ass clown is that decides when to paint lines on the road? Today, as I'm driving to work in pouring down rain, the yellow center line is running to the shoulder of the road, like shit running down your leg after a nasty SHART! My only thoughts are the environment as paint pools on...
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Declared by Rich Rod on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
You are going to die
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Because the smokey mountains are NOT a rainforest!!!!
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Declared by I hate Kentucky on Tuesday, February 17, 2009