Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoIn the name of Allah, the all-knowing, the magnificent I declare you an infidel and swear on the beard of the prophet that you shall be utterly wasted this evening, Inshallah.
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Declared by Dr. Evil on Monday, October 15, 2007
In the name of Allah the most allmighty, praised be His name and the name of his prophet, I herewith declare Jihad on the number PI. For only He is from eternity to eternity, not some diabolic number. PI, you wait until we get you and we will show you some infinity, wretched number that you are. And...
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Declared by kauder.welsch on Friday, December 21, 2007
Teh Culvars (Leah Culver) brought a big bucket of fail to this years Future of Web Apps Conference. She didn't even teach us mere mortals about the string maths that she's used with such great success on pownce.
Shortly after that she took over a panel aimed at developing a web app in 40 minutes and...
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Declared by Skully on Friday, February 29, 2008
10fold Jihads would not be enough to declare on the infidels in Congress who have dragged their effing feet on this G.D. bailout package. While they sit and bicker, my meager portfolio dwindles more and more as my ulcer grows larger. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the armpits of all you in...
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Declared by JihadMonger on Friday, September 26, 2008
I DECLARE A JIHAD ON YOU AND YOURS! DIE FOR THE GLORY OF ALLAH!
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Declared by Aziz-Makbar Muhammad Jihad on Friday, November 7, 2008
I declare jihad on Political Correctness, if it's legal, I'll do it! I say midjet, I say Founding Fathers(not Framers), I say black people, I say Asians, I say whatever I want! Leave me alone!
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Declared by Jeff on Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Dear Bill Gates,
What the fuck? I thought I was getting a good deal here. Then as the weeks went by, Vista kept revealing it's true customers. You're an asshole and can go fuck yourself, and if you don't like that, you can print this and stick it up your ASS HOLE!
Signed,
Thinking of developing his...
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Declared by Angry Microsoft Customer on Sunday, August 23, 2009
The ones who are just trying to make the money and stay out of turf and business violence, more power to you. But the ones who are retaliating and keeping a high profile, I wish the wrath for you. It seems as if Mexico is taking a lesson from the good ole '71 Nixon administration. Obama may never use the...
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Declared by J Cannabis on Sunday, September 12, 2010
Fuck off homosexual.
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Declared by Your enemy on Thursday, May 19, 2011
jihad
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Declared by allah on Friday, May 6, 2011
dear brian,
here is some advice, do not tell me that your interested and ask me on a date and flirt with me ,and then get back with your ex the next da.
kthxsby
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Declared by sheashea on Monday, June 6, 2011
My only wish is that you get stoned in a public market for spamming me.
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Declared by Gay Allah on Wednesday, February 22, 2012
A Jihad on you for crumby arabic television and providing it to the goyim
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Declared by Abu Nassar on Thursday, June 20, 2013
Bitch, don't tell me that I need to try on for the swim team after knowing me for less than 5 seconds! So what if you daughter went to the same swim team as I did - like 9 years ago? Who the f*** cares?!!?
And the fact that your each of your sons took 7 AP courses each is credited to the fact that they...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, June 1, 2013
YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU AND YOUR BIG ASS EGO AND YOUR FUCKING ATTITUDE. FUCK YOU YOU BITCHING ASSFUCK. YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT YOU BETTER LEARN SOME RESPECT YOU FUCKING BIMBO. THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS YOU ASSHOLE AND I HOPE IT STAYS THAT WAY UNLESS YOU FUCKING CHANGE. FUCKING EGO...
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Declared by K on Wednesday, September 10, 2014
A jihad on you, antichrist! I know you're out there, plotting your world domination. Maybe you're just a tiny baby right now - who knows? If you are, you better hope I don't find out about it. I'll punch your wee face like nobody's watching. Watch your back, antichrist! I'm coming after you!
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Declared by Carlos on Thursday, September 13, 2007
For being a fucking liar
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, October 5, 2007
Most people are so stupid, smart people would do fine without you stupids. Build yourselves some rockets and go live on the sun you resource wasting, fuzzy animal killing buttheads.
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Declared by Detrus on Sunday, October 7, 2007
I know you already have a jihad, but I thought you should have another one because Kantner called me.
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Declared by General on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Why is it that people don't keep to their bloody left on escalators. Stop hogging the right-lane and let people in a rush USE IT.
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Declared by Anonymous Coward on Sunday, October 7, 2007