Are you serious?
Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoJihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoPfft. I'm just kidding. I love Al Qaeda.
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Declared by Average Amerikan on Monday, December 9, 2013
I declare jihad on you! May your salad be covered in dingleberries. May your ass grow ever wider. May your false bravado be crushed in a stream of your own tears. May you choke on a chicken bone and claw your way half-way out of your office where I will walk over your rotting corpse. May you be...
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Declared by Crenshaw on Friday, July 1, 2016
So, uh, we removed your graffiti and we know where you live. We also sent a letter to your mom's landlord and the cops have your spraycan.
You want to scare me, become a lawyer.
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, September 27, 2007
stand up paddlers belong in waikiki only!!! stay out of everyones way...go away
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
STOP BANGING MY GIRLFRIEND!
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Declared by Danny on Monday, October 8, 2007
I am soooooo tired of you and your obsession to try to make me clean. why don't you clean yourself???!!!!!?!?!?! I hate you, i hate you, i hate you. and it is not that i don't like to clean, it is that i don't like you making me clean like i'm a fucking slave. go fuck yourself and leave me alone you...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Jihad on the Out of Office auto-reply of Kester! Jihad!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, September 28, 2009
You will die a painful death at the hands of all muslims
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Declared by Dylan Bellman on Friday, June 25, 2010
I declare a Jihad on you, and i wish you a fungal infection of sorts
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Declared by Ryan on Tuesday, July 5, 2011
You've gone to the dark side friend, and we miss you. Ditch the macintrash and come back to the light... or surely the end will come to you.
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Declared by Mark on Monday, October 8, 2007
I declare holy war upon James Blunt. This jar of pink sugar should be torn apart by eight homosexual horses, then run over by a fleet of concrete transport trucks, and then burnt in a steel factory, and then shot, just to make sure.
The timbre of his voice is deeply agonizing and should only be used to...
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Declared by Mr. Tze on Thursday, October 11, 2007
How about anal sex ?
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Declared by Ben Remka al Jihadi on Friday, October 26, 2007
Down with Turftoe! Down with Turftoe!
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Declared by Buckingham Ball Breakers on Thursday, December 6, 2007
I declare jihad on you for making me wait for my nugget by laying false claims.
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Declared by Seab on Thursday, January 24, 2008
You're, for the most part, an awesome friend. But when I'm getting back into the dating scene, the last thing I need to hear from you is you making comments about my upcoming date that don't matter to me, but still put me in a foul mood because we get into a debate over it and I get annoyed at you. You're...
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, June 13, 2011
poop
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Declared by po po magoo on Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Are you two fucking morons? Please understand that in the 5 projects that we have all worked in together I have done more work than all three of you put together. And the best part? I can't believe how fucking dumb you are, SH. It's like you have no bloody brains at all, spending all your attention hankering...
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, August 5, 2011
Marianne is always talking to me while I'm at work. I tell her, I've got things to do. She doesn't care. She just talks and talks. It's like she doesn't have any friends. She just goes on talking about her rat boyfriends and her trips to far away exotic lands. It's just all too much. I'm trying to think...
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Declared by Chris on Monday, September 10, 2007
why oh why are you always so full of crap? where does it come from? why are you collecting it? no matter what i do, your stuff just keeps multiplying! I lose whole villages in your corners. please just take it easy on me. i have a lot to do and i need to you help me out a little here.
Thanks,
God
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Declared by God on Sunday, October 7, 2007
You freaking monopoly maniac!
Yeah, yeah i know i can able to use 100 Mbps internet for only 100$ a month when i'm in the coffin. And i know, that time i'm still have to pay for telephone subscription which i never use!
I just want good internet, low pings, high bandwidths, low costs!
Hate you...
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Declared by anti-t-t on Tuesday, October 9, 2007