Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoSTOP BANGING MY GIRLFRIEND!
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Declared by Danny on Monday, October 8, 2007
Dear Fuckface,
Did you know that you are fucking, fuck-face? No seriously, I want to slam a giant, hardened terd-club into your jack-hole and then kick you in the pussi-fied, dickless area between your legs where your cock sharnk up into you flabby fleshness, oh so long ago.
You and your...
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Declared by Tyler on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
You inability to play the games I recommend. Remember KOTOR? You waited months before playing it...
Now Portal, an incredibly cool game is out and, again, you delay.
Now I'm putting a Jihad on your ass. I hope you're happy.
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Declared by Zinknation on Thursday, October 18, 2007
ای پرشین بلاگ، به علت امکانات بسیار کم و ناچیز نسبت به دیگر سرویسهای وبلاگ نویسی فارسی زبان و همچنین عملی نشدن وعده به روز رسانی نسخه جدید (نزدیک به یک سال) و دق مرگ کردن من...
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Declared by ستوده on Friday, October 26, 2007
This is the last straw! I have had it with your short, bitter, feathered ass! You don't mess with a dude's benz and get away with it. And by the way, you call me Goofy one more time you crack smokin', walking personality disorder, and I will bury your ass next to Walt. It's Shabaz Ahmed. It's been legal...
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Declared by Shabaz Ahmed (The artist formally known as Goofy) on Tuesday, October 30, 2007
It is with grave determination to preserve the teachings of holy Islam and to uphold my submission to Allah the Merciful by declaring Jihad on you and your wretched family. Be afraid Michael, be very afraid, for Allah will not be merciful to any member of your household.
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Declared by Bob on Tuesday, December 9, 2008
..But he is allready dead anyway. He killed himself when he realized his son was a JEW.
so long sucker
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Declared by JHWE on Friday, April 24, 2009
You, my poor friend are the one possessed by the Cake! The only sin I will ever commit is the inhalation of your world view. I will banish you to the recesses of the universe, where the light of every star and galaxy twinkles as bright as the faintest night star.
O vengeful Pie! May you lend me the strength...
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Declared by WowThatsAwesomeQT on Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Learn to shut your FUCKING MOUTH! The truth is that over here one advertisment does NOT represent a whole country.
Want something to whinge about? Whinge about the amount of crap on T.V. now. Go fuck yourselves, assholes.
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Declared by Not So Racist Australian on Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Jihad on you dumb individual for making me cry for no reason because you took my story the wrong way. I know my explanation was not clear, but because you assumed you made and ass out of you and me!
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I've had feelings for you for the longest time. I've never acted on these feelings but you're pretty clever and I know you know how I feel about you. I'm not smart, funny, creative, or anything special but thats reason to talk about me like I'm some creature! I'm sick of hearing you and others talking about...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, February 20, 2011
FUUUCK THE SCHOOL. EAT MY LONG DICK OF DEATH MOTHERFUCKERS. CRADLE MY BALLS WITH THE OVERWORKING SHIT YOU CALL HOMEWORK. FUCK RELIGION AS WELL.
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Declared by FUCK ARAB PEDOS on Friday, May 20, 2011
Only in North America will someone claim to be your best friend then burn you, disrespect, and sell you out in front of others.
I have mmmannny of these so called friends. One would trip over his own ego to look cool in front of new people he would meet. He would make me look like shit in front of...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, June 14, 2011
The troops are welfare queens. We taxpayers feed, clothe and house them. We pay for their medical care and their benefits while they chase imaginary WMDs, sing stupid songs and slam their dicks together. They haven't protected us from a legitimate threat in over fifty years. They should get their hands out...
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, July 12, 2012
Drunks are the biggest infidels there are. With nothing else to find to do with their sorry little lives they drink themselves stupid and with their loud voices tell everyone what they think is wrong with everything. Sober up you sluts and stop finding fault with everyone else and fix your own selves before...
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Declared by Annie on Thursday, December 20, 2012
You are mistaken to think that America isn't up to the task of annihilating you.
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, November 13, 2015
They try to talk about sports. They try to play video games. They try to make dirty jokes and burp and fart and act tough... It's disgusting and unfeminine and unbecoming and it won't ever get you laid. If you act like one of the guys, you'll be treated like one of the guys. I don't date the guys. I date...
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Declared by Philip Thomas on Monday, September 10, 2007
Let's get over it already. It's not funny anymore. If I have to see one more cat staring at a computer screen and saying something stupid and easy about WoW, I might have to remove myself from the internet altogether. You can NOT has cheezburger!
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Declared by Evan on Saturday, September 15, 2007
I declare holy war on this god forsaken municipal government of ours.
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Declared by elmolino on Saturday, October 13, 2007
we jihad Jonas El-kabel from Denmark for being egyptien and refuse to tell us how the pyramids where build!!!
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Declared by angry danish guy on Saturday, October 13, 2007