Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI am declaring Jihad on you for lack of coffee making
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Declared by Brian Bin Laden on Thursday, October 11, 2007
Yeahr, fuck love!
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Declared by ZoR3o on Monday, October 22, 2007
In the name of Allah, the super duper great and his prophet..
I am to declare Jihad on the weather!! it brings rain to the infidels and sun to the Jews and evel Christian Teddy Bears. I, in the name of Allah the great say we should use our black gold(oil) to destroy the weather ones and for all.
Peace...
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Declared by Nice Abu-Muslim to Everyone Kareem on Friday, December 7, 2007
You are too loud, dammit. You cackle endlessly at conferences and make Michael Serra nervous and uncomfortable. Everyone is staring at you - and not in a good way. They think you're insane. Your clothing doesn't match either, which is a problem.
For all of that, somehow we all love you. You suck a lot...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, February 10, 2008
Why did you have to leave us so early?
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Declared by Come back on Saturday, April 26, 2008
Hey ASSHOLE. Ya still working for chump change? Come on over here and run with the big dogs. Still whacking off, are ya. Man, you need some pussy. Come on in, the water is fine here in Apopka.
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Declared by BJ on Saturday, October 25, 2008
Thanks a lot for nothing. You shitty, butt ugly mongrel bastards. Perhaps you're all that way because of the lack of sex you're getting, due to the fact that not only are you all ugly, you're fairly stupid as well.
You are part of the reason I've started thinking that friends are overrated. What the hell...
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Declared by Adobo Fiend on Thursday, May 7, 2009
WHAT THE FUCK YOU STUPID BITCH?!?
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Declared by Ashley on Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Jihad on you dumb individual for making me cry for no reason because you took my story the wrong way. I know my explanation was not clear, but because you assumed you made and ass out of you and me!
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, October 13, 2010
For not buying me a shiny D:
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Declared by Wee Sillyface on Thursday, December 9, 2010
FUCKING DAD
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Stop bringing in dead animals you bastard cat. Jihad! Jihad!
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Declared by Graham on Tuesday, October 25, 2011
The worst supervisor I ever had to work for was an inept, incompetent, and very mean attorney; I'll call him JBD. He was also mentally unstable. He practiced both PI (personal injury) and immigration law, but he was such a disorganized, unstable nutcase that he had very few clients. My job was only meant...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, January 31, 2012
POMIS... wtf is up with your students?!?!? they all got their heads up their arses. wtf??????? get your fushit together
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Declared by Angry Outsider on Saturday, July 14, 2012
Bitch please.
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Declared by Sonny Bishop on Friday, March 8, 2013
ok listen you you little fuck. just because i look young doesnt mean that you can treat me like a child. even so what gives YOU the right to treat children and anyone younger than you like a piece of shit. the only piece of shit that i see is your humanity.
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Declared by a fucking human being on Saturday, October 10, 2015
You pompous ass. I found out you were practicing your sexual harassment skills on the girls in the office and next thing I know I'm being forced to leave cause you got scrred. I hope your tiny lawyer special parts shrivel and fall off over the course of the next three weeks.
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Declared by David on Sunday, September 9, 2007
All I do is work for you jackasses, things that don't even come with the job and I don't get paid extra for. I work my tail off and still make only a dollar above minimum wage you rich bastards. Burn in hell.
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, October 6, 2007
You rejected my chocolate rain stylings. Damn you.
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Declared by Vic on Monday, October 8, 2007
ahmet sertbaş ulan şu mubarek gundede sövduom ya sana..yatcak yerin yok lan senin aq senin..
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Declared by IU on Monday, October 8, 2007