Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI declare Fatwa on you!
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Declared by Black Flag of Islam on Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I love English. It's the one subject I never needed to give any effort in.
Today, I noticed Apple changed their definition of what fascism/fascist meant. Now, being a person who is a bit of a bibliophile, I OWN SEVERAL DICTIONARIES. No, Apple, you might fool many of your sheeple users, and maybe some people...
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Declared by Starflower on Sunday, October 29, 2017
It's bad enough you woke me up at 1 in the fucking morning but you have the gall to keep me up for 30 consecutive GODdamn minutes. I cannot describe how many unseemly things I want to do to you. It would be slow, painful. Like melting you over some computer wreckage to make you feel at home. Maybe you'd like...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, January 15, 2017
How dare you kick my dog you sweaty fat bastard and then proceed to take a shite on my lawn. Preposterous!
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Declared by Joe Paparroni on Saturday, December 19, 2015
Your phone call tonight didnt make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe it was your fast squeaky ramblings about how "I totally dont like this one girl cuz she totally didnt talk as fast or as much as me. O-M-G!".. sure, blame it on the 2 cups of coffee you had 9 hours ago, or that every five minutes you...
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Declared by Jakob on Monday, October 1, 2007
How are you just going to leave "the love of your life" here without you? It hurts. It really sucks. Like I love you man. Why you gotta do this?
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, May 19, 2016
Jihad taha is getting mad when i call him!!!
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Declared by Jihadtahalover42 on Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Nintendo has not released Mother 3 in America, and making Americans wait more than needed for a English Fire Emblem Fates.
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, October 15, 2015
May your waters be muddied, your forests destroyed and your humans be stupid forever. If you don't like that, then don't make it so damn cold in Australia in July each year!
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Declared by Hu Man on Sunday, July 10, 2016
Hmm, its funny that you have to give me a sermon not to interfere to say my opinion what's best for your son because you said "I should be a parent first to understand". That may be fair. ..but you and your wife don't wash the dishes after you eat (I do, and I wash both of yours as well.), and you don't go...
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Declared by Other sibling on Saturday, February 18, 2017
Go ahead and take my car. Its yours. But while u drive yourself around, don't forget that im the one who fed you and put you back on your feet. Dont forget how you stole my lousy change and begged me to buy you smokes. You and your son will never be more than two selfish, ignorant and dysfunctional pieces of...
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Declared by fed up, self-respecting sweetheart on Saturday, February 22, 2014
I hereby declare jihad on my ex gf / alien spore / satan's pet cat . May the almighty allah accompanied by the Prophet of prophets give her what is due in the deepest fiery abyss of Jahannam !! XOXO (not)
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Declared by Rajarshi Chattopadhyay on Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Horrible Mexicans on the L.A. Metro Redline station cruelly abusing a white lady who hadn’t done anything wrong. So typical of Mexican garbage to bully and harass white ladies. Jail time is what sexually arouses Mexican losers who harass white ladies.
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Declared by Anon. on Sunday, October 4, 2015
bitch i was straight up the best friend anyone could ever be and then u lyin to my face to hang out with the same hoe that treats ya like dirt??
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Declared by th fukc on Thursday, April 7, 2016
Dam pedo
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Declared by bigchris on Monday, October 8, 2007
Karma is not only going to kick your ass but is going to murder you H.H. Holmes style.
I went through, Hell, purgatory and the bowels of war for you and this is what I get? Thank you for showing me how once again, compassion, love and caring is never the answer.
One day, when you are least expecting...
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, April 14, 2014
I'm placing a Jihad on you!
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Declared by Gary on Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Warwick,
YOU are clearly THE BEST boyfriend in the entire world for me. I take great pleasure in seeing you smile, and I hate it when I have to hurt your feelings or lie to you. I love the silly, childish things we do together and I cherish every moment you spend making me feel like a worthwhile,...
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Declared by H on Wednesday, January 20, 2016
I hope you rot in hell and then hell vultures eat you off and I hope they take all the time in the world when they do so. at that.
I just hope that you get a skunk on your face. And then rhinos should trample over your big head. And when you die, I hope you rot in hell and then hell vultures eat you off...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, April 22, 2017
dear jerry,
I think there is something I should really tell you, I hate you, I fucking hate you because you are a heartless, descpicable harridan with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. On top of that, you are horrible at relationships and I feel sorry for what your current boyfriend has to put up with.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, May 2, 2017