Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoHow does an iPod define your love for music?
How does a pair of Nike's define how well u ran this morning?
Why do you need some other guy's name on ur underwear?
How does giving flowers (and a huge list of more girly stuff) on Valentine's Day define ur love towards your partner?
Do you...
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Declared by KC on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Dear fucking asshole who happens to be my boss,
FUCK YOU. You are the worst fucking boss I've ever had. Never have I had so many put-downs by one person. You're supposed to manage me and mold me into a better employee. Instead, you belittle me and make me feel like shit each week.
FUCK YOU! I declare...
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Declared by Heather on Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Hey. Enjoy my ex, I dumped her for a reason. But you've been spreading lies about me, when I have some REAL dirt on you. You're telling people that my ex cheated on me with you? WITH YOU? That's a fucking riot, seeing as you're a slimy cunt who tells people about his piss fetish and sodomizing himself with...
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, June 2, 2016
She just called and asked if she can come by and pick up her stuff. Should I have told her that I threw it all away the day she left? Probably.
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Declared by Damian on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
When I got my Playstation 2, I was the most excited kid in the world. Sadly, it was shortlived when I unwrapped my first-ever game, Grand Theft Auto (Somali). I had payed $30 to watch a couple of negros with guns push eachother around in wheelbarrows. I was pissed off.. Damn you, Sony and your iron fist of...
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Declared by larry on Saturday, October 6, 2007
I study for 6 days, about 4 hours a day for 50 minutes of confusion and agony. I discover too late that I didn't study the right things and get a C - what the hell?!?! JUST MAKE SENSE YOU FREAKING PIECE OF PAPER, YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!!!
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Declared by John on Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I call for the violent death of the infedel who believes not in sane process or the divine power of business intelligence.
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Declared by Kelly Berger on Thursday, October 25, 2007
FUCK YOU CUNT YOURE GONNA BURN AT THE END OF MY STICK YOU FUCK
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, December 6, 2017
High School is over ladies. Time to grow up and get a job.
Too bad you can't admin your way out of a fucking jihad.. bitches.
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Declared by horchata on Monday, October 8, 2007
Pentiti cane infedele!
peeeeentiti zoccola fradicia!
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Declared by Pentotal on Saturday, November 10, 2007
fuck you for trying to kill yourself after everything and you leave me a one sentence goodbye.. no.. fuck you..
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Declared by mom on Sunday, December 10, 2017
Weirdly, she thinks I'm out to "get" her - that I mean to do harm. This is not true. What she does for a living doesn't mean anything to me. I'm just there in order to enjoy myself. I bear no ill will towards her. It's her job, her profession - and that's great. I'm not her competition. I'm just there to...
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Declared by anonymous lady on Sunday, May 21, 2017
I declare absolute destruction of evil on you. You got a preview with the "twins" and your house falling into the ocean. You are the most miserable beast and your day will come. You are a disgusting beastly awful non-human being and you will pay for your crimes.
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Declared by Be afraid on Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Jihad infinity on you! Sorry 300 lb fat lazy bitch! Hope you choke on a ham sandwich.
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Declared by Short fuse on Sunday, January 13, 2013
Fucking hell i cant fucking deal with his shit anymore i'm sick of it this a few days ago she acted all friendly and shit and all of a sudden she fucking ignores me like i'm nothing.
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Declared by FUUUUUCK on Wednesday, September 27, 2017
The level of treatment I have received from our parents compared to you is extremely unfair. You have been handed everything you have and have not had to work very hard for what you have. Things always came easy to you, whether it was getting a cushy job that does not require a lot of hard work or, our...
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Declared by Ikkin on Monday, October 24, 2016
You don't give me job, you burn
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Declared by Hampton on Thursday, July 28, 2016
If you get a boob job EXPECT PEOPLE TO LOOK! Quit being so idiotic about it, it's a free country, and if you walk outside, prepared to be looked at.
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, October 8, 2009
Fuck you! You fat, rude fuck. Insulting others and sounding like a rude fat fuck all the time.
Oh, but when we're rude to you about your fucking fat and ugly body it's wrong? And you get angry?
You are literally so depressed with your own life you suspect any and everything, and you think the...
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Declared by Someone who regrets ever befriending you on Monday, March 13, 2017
You stuck up third wave feminist harpie!
You know fucking well the office rules says that flash drives are not to be inserted in office computers, so why did you do it? And why do you think I should be responsible for your reckless decision? I told you my flash drive is clean, but I DID NOT SAY YOU HAVE TO...
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Declared by You suck and you know it on Sunday, April 30, 2017