Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoMobile service provider Pelephone have failed to provide me with anything other than frustration, technological obstacles and faulty Samsung models. Oh yeah - and the icing on the cake? They just keep insisting I pay more and more.
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Declared by Ealz on Tuesday, October 30, 2007
According to the most holy words that hath been poured upon the worthy tounge of allahs great prophet I delcare this Jihad upon thine own head.
And it shall be declared as a parable saying:
Behold, it came to pass in the time of night, that as I, even I The Nathan lay at rest; that a trance came upon me....
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Declared by The Nathan on Saturday, November 24, 2007
Why do I have to love my husband so much?! I cannot stop thinking about him - I adore him - I love him - I miss him all the time. He's the best thing in my life :P
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, December 20, 2007
Somebody PLEASE explain to me, how the FUCK does one open these god damn things. I've just about peeled the skin on one of my hands doing so.
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Declared by You on Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Or rather, people who appear perfect. WHY do you seem so infuriatingly ideal in every way? WHAT the fuck is going on here? Everywhere I look, it's there. You're on your facebook talking about what an "amazing night bowling" it was. You're at school, surrounded by people who adore you. Everyone, it seems,...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, July 15, 2012
I declare holy War
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Declared by Nigger on Sunday, September 8, 2013
Julie, you've had 6 kids with 3 men, married 5 times, use everybody and everything to manipulate any situation to your advantage. You pass love for money w/ ugly, out of shape men. Your a awful Mother too
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Declared by J. Wilson on Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Andrew
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Declared by Andrew on Monday, May 25, 2015
Why do politically correct social justice warriors get off on bossing everyone around, while calling people who don’t want to be dominated “asshats”? Why do politically correct social justice warriors who allegedly support freedom of speech ironically want to stamp out freedom of speech?
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, October 9, 2015
I declare jihad on you! May your salad be covered in dingleberries. May your ass grow ever wider. May your false bravado be crushed in a stream of your own tears. May you choke on a chicken bone and claw your way half-way out of your office where I will walk over your rotting corpse. May you be...
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Declared by Crenshaw on Friday, July 1, 2016
You transvestite hookers always have penes.
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Declared by Duane Capuano on Monday, October 1, 2007
You damn plant! I hate you and your leafy fiber-iosity. Your roughage sloughs polyps from my colon but your bitter taste leaves my stomach a-churning. The fattiest ranch or zestiest italian can't mask your magnificent musk, and I puke thinking of you.
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Declared by Ethel on Monday, October 8, 2007
Please destroy u'r self. o please please please can u do that? if u can't than u have no power :P
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Declared by Moisa Laurentiu Florin on Monday, October 8, 2007
I'm 27 and I've never even gotten close to marrying someone...why? Because I'm still an idiot and don't understand anything in life, much less how to live it with someone else.
You're all doomed to failure. You will have four divorces under your belt by the time you're my age. I hope you enjoy hyphenated...
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Declared by Jealous, probably on Sunday, February 10, 2008
You are not smart. You're just like everyone else. Self-absorbed, selfish, narcissistic and infested with disillusions of grandeur. If anyone deserves an A+, its the selfless, charitable humble people who don't think themselves better than anyone else. Those people are better than you. What have you given to...
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Declared by Get Real on Friday, May 9, 2008
Jihad on you, you lowbrow, sick bastards! I swear if I notice ONE kilobyte difference in speed I will fucking stalk you and hunt you down!
Signed,
The guy who will now have to put up with a super-slow under dialup speed until his next bill comes (a month away) or until the ISP rings up and says they...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Yes, I think you're ugly. You ARE ugly. You look every day of your age plus more- and as ugly as you are on the outside, it doesn't compare to how ugly you are on the inside
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, April 1, 2010
God, hasn't anyone ever told you to quit being such a heinous fucking cunt?! You are a disgrace to anyone with a vagina, you bitch so much. CHILL THE FUCK OUT, life's too short to be a horrible person to everyone in the world.
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Declared by Customer Service on Thursday, October 20, 2011
Yeah especially when you tell someone something and they hop off the phone with you and hop right back on! Why so obsessed? I especially love when I come onto one of these sites and see subliminal messages after I've talked to a certain someone.
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, July 14, 2011
Yay. Is the internet troll back on this site?? Hi hi!! Hope you provide me with some juicy goss. Please respond to my emails. Hey and Raze, if you're on here....please talk on here. Id love to read your random stories.
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Declared by sdfsdfs on Sunday, July 10, 2011