Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoYou damn plant! I hate you and your leafy fiber-iosity. Your roughage sloughs polyps from my colon but your bitter taste leaves my stomach a-churning. The fattiest ranch or zestiest italian can't mask your magnificent musk, and I puke thinking of you.
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Declared by Ethel on Monday, October 8, 2007
Islamists
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Declared by Michael Smith on Monday, October 8, 2007
Franky has big balls and smells like manure. Therefore there should be a Jihad on him. Alah is great! Franky is filth!
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Declared by Holy One on Monday, October 8, 2007
I rented it because it had Sarah Silverman on the cover. Now, after what feels like the longest 20 minutes of my entire life, having not yet seen a single glimpse of her on the screen, I am giving up to watch my dog lick his dick instead. It's more entertaining.
Is this all it takes to make a movie in...
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Declared by Wasted Netflix account on Monday, March 10, 2008
You're always so busy when anyone else needs something - writing that bullshit email, cleaning your desk, picking a wedgie from your 200lb ass. (I just threw up in my mouth a little) All I want is the phone number for the Human Resources office, but you're too busy. "Come back tomorrow!" I've got an idea,...
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Declared by FUKWURK on Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Why can't I just go out and fucking be called a man without people looking at my driver's license and being like "no ur a woman". JIHAD ON YOU
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, January 12, 2015
Ummm...now to boys. Dont really have a problem. When it comes to boys, I just cant make up my mind!!! If I am to settle down with someone, I think I can be loyal to them for the rest of my life. I think. Probably because I wont be bothered to find someone else. Im scared that Ill end up dating someone and...
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Declared by wrwer on Saturday, July 9, 2011
It was a good run but I have to square up after 15 years. I'm tired of you guy calling me to tempt me to act as a inebriated rebel teenager. I'm basically 30...Why don't you mothafuckaz chill the fuck out. Follow some of my positivity change or this softcore jihad will continue.
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Declared by New Man on Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Just stop. Please.
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, June 1, 2013
Julie, you've had 6 kids with 3 men, married 5 times, use everybody and everything to manipulate any situation to your advantage. You pass love for money w/ ugly, out of shape men. Your a awful Mother too
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Declared by J. Wilson on Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Thanks Craigslist for flagging my post to provide professional growing tips for the OMMP community. The truth hurts, doesn't it? Retail is a burn, what's the secret?
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Declared by pissedbotonist on Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Andrew
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Declared by Andrew on Monday, May 25, 2015
I declare jihad on you! May your salad be covered in dingleberries. May your ass grow ever wider. May your false bravado be crushed in a stream of your own tears. May you choke on a chicken bone and claw your way half-way out of your office where I will walk over your rotting corpse. May you be...
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Declared by Crenshaw on Friday, July 1, 2016
test patterns repeat
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Declared by Scott on Wednesday, February 28, 2018
I can't unwrap anything these days without a 20-minute fight with this crap. They never provide any easy way to open it, so you have to tear through it, trying not to slice yourself wide open with the jagged edges it creates. Who thought this stuff up? Is it so cheap to use that you're willing to cut your...
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Declared by Daniel on Sunday, September 23, 2007
I am doing this because you have high speed internet and you don't play Halo 3!!! But seriously i hope you die and I played Halo 3 on line all day Saturday and it was spectacular.
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Declared by Casey on Monday, October 8, 2007
I declare holy Jihad on project managers who write the new specs for software they have not even bothered to use.
Wo xi wang ni man man si, dan kuai dian xia di yu!
(yes I am learning to curse in Mandarin so they don't know what I am saying :)
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Declared by verminator on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Why do I have to love my husband so much?! I cannot stop thinking about him - I adore him - I love him - I miss him all the time. He's the best thing in my life :P
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, December 20, 2007
Don't you just love those people who carry out loud conversations on their cell phone? Very private information about themselves, friends, and business. How there is always more than one trying to talk at the same time in a very small area?
I declare jihad on all you SOBs may Allah cause a permanent...
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Declared by verminator on Monday, January 28, 2008
They are rip off artists, with incompetent customer service.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, November 10, 2008