Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoYour love of Jake
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Declared by Ed on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
It has surpassed my expectations The standard of it was dirty. How could you do it. It was embarrasing on your part and really made you look stupid. Justice will be served
Inshallah
wallahi you will not get away with the crimes you have commited during ramzan
khuda hafiz
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Declared by ilada khan on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
You're snotty in the office and its getting worse. Damn you, you workplace infidel. I'm putting a jihad on you.
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, October 12, 2007
You fuckers deserve to die of piles. You peddle your shite games to unsuspecting punters who pay good money expecting a product that works only to find that it's just utter, utter dog shit.
You hide behind forums and helpdesk systems knowing that there's no way a normal person can understand what the fuck...
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Declared by Jaxta on Friday, October 12, 2007
Cause you touch yourself at night!
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Declared by Max on Monday, December 17, 2007
According to the most holy words that hath been poured upon the worthy tounge of allahs great prophet I delcare this Jihad upon thine own head.
And it shall be declared as a parable saying:
Behold, it came to pass in the time of night, that as I, even I The Nathan lay at rest; that a trance came upon me....
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Declared by The Nathan on Saturday, November 24, 2007
For gouging our pockets over the last 5 years and yet having the balls to declare record profits to your stock holders!
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
It's so f#cking stupid to get into truble because you happent to be forgetfull I mean we are all human we forget sh*t I have insurance but just not on me so whats the big deal!!!!! What happens now that I got this riddiculaslly large ticket and have to pay it but can't pay my car insurance????? doesent make...
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Declared by Jim on Monday, December 1, 2008
I am sick of seeing women who look like Jabba The Hut
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Get your fucking priorities in line! You're what, 15, 18, 21? And all you can think about is finding some fuckin' disrespectful punk to focus on instead of improving yourself and learning to love YOURSELF first. You spend all your time crying about or searching for some fuck-tard who's just lookin' to get...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, September 4, 2013
eliza is a beautiful woman
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, February 12, 2012
It was a good run but I have to square up after 15 years. I'm tired of you guy calling me to tempt me to act as a inebriated rebel teenager. I'm basically 30...Why don't you mothafuckaz chill the fuck out. Follow some of my positivity change or this softcore jihad will continue.
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Declared by New Man on Tuesday, February 21, 2012
You are a rickety poon weasel foetus
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Declared by An child on Wednesday, March 13, 2013
I often hear you talking about the Eagles - I think you grew up in Texas so SHUT THE FUCK UP. The Cowboys just fucked them up.
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Declared by M. The Tech on Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Fucking sick to death of you!! You constantly copy me, yet bitch about me look down ur big fucking nose at me bitch about my parenting (when you cant even handle your baby and I've done it basically alone. Gahhhh You look like a gremlin your a dirty useless bitch and my bro could do better!!!!
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, February 21, 2014
when you struck my vehicle on the freeway today, you gave the officer your driver's license and then FAILED to exit the next offramp for the report writing. WTF.
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Declared by anony on Thursday, July 18, 2013
YOU ARE FILTHY PEASANTS
Also like am I not allowed to complain about anything because "aw poor you emotional teenager???" like I HAVE A REASON TO BE ANGRY, this isn't some strop about nothing. You never listen, and then moan at me for using the electricity when I could get a new one for 2 quid.
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Declared by Bob fucking marley on Saturday, April 19, 2014
I declare jihad on you! May your salad be covered in dingleberries. May your ass grow ever wider. May your false bravado be crushed in a stream of your own tears. May you choke on a chicken bone and claw your way half-way out of your office where I will walk over your rotting corpse. May you be...
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Declared by Crenshaw on Friday, July 1, 2016
Fuck you. I'm so glad I just broke it off with you. I've been thinking about it forever to save your fucking feelings you fucking asshole. I'm so sick of doing everything for you. Am I your mother? No. Cook your own fucking dinner sometimes. No wonder why you're so bloody fat. I have to pay for all...
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Declared by anonymous on Thursday, February 12, 2009
God, hasn't anyone ever told you to quit being such a heinous fucking cunt?! You are a disgrace to anyone with a vagina, you bitch so much. CHILL THE FUCK OUT, life's too short to be a horrible person to everyone in the world.
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Declared by Customer Service on Thursday, October 20, 2011