Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infowhy you poop on the carpet
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, June 1, 2013
There's something wrong with the gays who scream that they hate the opposite sex- especially their own opposite sex parent - disturbing.
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Declared by anon. on Saturday, April 1, 2017
Jihad on Jihad! Why do I have to deal with all these Jiahdists. I'm so tired of hearing about them. If only they strapped themselves with popcorn instead of bombs and walked up and down the stairs in stadiums all over the country. My how nice that would be.
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Declared by Jake on Monday, October 8, 2007
Sends the worst newsletters ever.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
Stop harassing my girlfriend!
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 29, 2007
According to the most holy words that hath been poured upon the worthy tounge of allahs great prophet I delcare this Jihad upon thine own head.
And it shall be declared as a parable saying:
Behold, it came to pass in the time of night, that as I, even I The Nathan lay at rest; that a trance came upon me....
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Declared by The Nathan on Saturday, November 24, 2007
I declare holy Jihad on project managers who write the new specs for software they have not even bothered to use.
Wo xi wang ni man man si, dan kuai dian xia di yu!
(yes I am learning to curse in Mandarin so they don't know what I am saying :)
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Declared by verminator on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
I rented it because it had Sarah Silverman on the cover. Now, after what feels like the longest 20 minutes of my entire life, having not yet seen a single glimpse of her on the screen, I am giving up to watch my dog lick his dick instead. It's more entertaining.
Is this all it takes to make a movie in...
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Declared by Wasted Netflix account on Monday, March 10, 2008
Ummm...now to boys. Dont really have a problem. When it comes to boys, I just cant make up my mind!!! If I am to settle down with someone, I think I can be loyal to them for the rest of my life. I think. Probably because I wont be bothered to find someone else. Im scared that Ill end up dating someone and...
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Declared by wrwer on Saturday, July 9, 2011
You are a rickety poon weasel foetus
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Declared by An child on Wednesday, March 13, 2013
JIHAD ON YOU FOR BEING THE MOST UNHELPFUL AND USELESS TEACHER OF ALL TIME. MAY THE SQUIRRELS YOU STUDY DESTROY YOUR HOME AND TURN YOU INTO A FOOD SOURCE.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, November 6, 2012
FUCK THIS SHIT! FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE! i fucking owe the government 9 fucking k's for some stupid not well planned scheme, fuck that! and yeah, FUCK YOU TOO LYDIA! iv'e done what you said! discreetly and carefully too! I fucking stayed how many sleepless nights doing what you asked me too and in the end i got...
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Declared by sir.toomanyfack-alot on Saturday, November 24, 2012
I worked hella hard on the stupid ethics report and you give me a 'not achieved/achieved' it was a heck of a lot better than anything yo' ass could write. and the red pen of almighty satan rained down like it aint no big thang, but it is. I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO DO THIS. maddddd
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Declared by Angry Student on Wednesday, March 12, 2014
You know the reason why we drifted apart?
BECAUSE YOU DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME!
We men aren't telepaths.
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Declared by JB from ADV33 1989 on Saturday, September 5, 2015
I declare jihad on you! May your salad be covered in dingleberries. May your ass grow ever wider. May your false bravado be crushed in a stream of your own tears. May you choke on a chicken bone and claw your way half-way out of your office where I will walk over your rotting corpse. May you be...
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Declared by Crenshaw on Friday, July 1, 2016
Everytime I fly, I find it very annoying when fat people site next to me. They should seriously buy two seats. Their butt usually gravitates near my face and the stench...HOLY CRAP! Yeah...seriously. Anyway, they take up so much room and it's so uncomfortable on the plane. Uuugh...
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Declared by dicknocratic_man on Sunday, September 9, 2007
Yeah. Feel my jihad.
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Declared by fil on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Finger weg von meinem Arbeitsplatz!
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Declared by Feliks on Monday, October 8, 2007
Randy you are a worthless neighbor. For over two years you have been a real pain in the butt. So I am declaring Jihad on you until you move away.
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Declared by Steve on Monday, October 8, 2007