Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
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Declared by JIhad al Mulvaney on Friday, December 4, 2009
Spheres are superior. There will be no debate. Those with edges shall be wiped from existence.
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Declared by The Sphere on Wednesday, December 11, 2013
So many requirements. You cant even teach us well.
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, July 8, 2012
I swear, whoever takes care of those autistic kids playing in my backyard had better pay more attention to them. The last time one of the autistic young girls came in my backyard, I fucked them and they literally came in my backyard. To be fair I was extremely intoxicated and now she wont stop coming back...
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Declared by Imaregisteredpedophile on Thursday, March 23, 2017
I call for the violent death of the infedel who believes not in sane process or the divine power of business intelligence.
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Declared by Kelly Berger on Thursday, October 25, 2007
You have erotomania, you stalker creep. Erotomania is a mental illness in which a psycho stalker delusionally thinks he's having a romantic relationship with either a casual acquaintance or a stranger. You're not in a relationship with me, you psycho stalker, and you never were. Three non-sexual dates is not...
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Declared by anonymous on Monday, July 20, 2015
Stupid fucking cunt. My mother-in-law Lana Cochran, is the biggest fucking bitch in the world. Like I bring you into my fucking home you stupid bitch. And you fucking go through my fucking personal belongings and steal from me bitch? No you dumb fucking cunt. Go put a fucking gun to your head and fucking...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Son of a bitch pig faced dirty little pack rat!! Stop rolling your God damn bogies and flicking them around the ENTIRE house!! Pick your crusty cheese infested socks off the floor, bin your filthy skid marked boxers, or better yet, wipe your arse on toilet roll!!!! Fucking animal bastard pig!! I should slap...
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, September 11, 2014
Jihad infinity on you! Sorry 300 lb fat lazy bitch! Hope you choke on a ham sandwich.
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Declared by Short fuse on Sunday, January 13, 2013
Hey. Enjoy my ex, I dumped her for a reason. But you've been spreading lies about me, when I have some REAL dirt on you. You're telling people that my ex cheated on me with you? WITH YOU? That's a fucking riot, seeing as you're a slimy cunt who tells people about his piss fetish and sodomizing himself with...
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, June 2, 2016
They are always thinking that they are better than me and calling me names! AAAAAAAAAAARG!
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, February 20, 2009
Bling off and Shut the FUCK up,BITCH!
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Declared by offensive4ever on Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Being a fucking bitch
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Declared by Jihadi John on Friday, February 26, 2016
It's very sad when both police departments and Sheriff's departments in the Los Angeles area become so weirdly politically correct that they encourage black and Hispanic people to physically attack white people in the most violent and illegal ways. Would you like Internal Affairs to investigate this? That's...
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Declared by anon on Sunday, October 11, 2015
I hate how you say the same damn thing when I'm telling you stuff about my day. "Oh" "Haha" "Lol" "Ok" DO YOU NOT CARE AT ALL?? I seriously hate when that's all people say to me and act like they don't give a single fuck! YOU'RE MY FRIEND TOO! JIHAD ON YOU, INSENSITIVE DICK!
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Declared by Ignored on Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Dear fucking asshole who happens to be my boss,
FUCK YOU. You are the worst fucking boss I've ever had. Never have I had so many put-downs by one person. You're supposed to manage me and mold me into a better employee. Instead, you belittle me and make me feel like shit each week.
FUCK YOU! I declare...
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Declared by Heather on Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Damn you stupid system. Nights are for sleeping and or parties. They are not for me being up all night working in a factory. They are not for that. Sure factories may run a little more quickly with night workers, but you could just hire more day people. Honestly, good lord what have I gotten myself into?
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Declared by PJ on Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Being politically correct (PC) has become a cult. These PC social justice warrior bullies are so fanatical about their beliefs to the point where they've become a mind-control cult. Google "warning signs of being in a cult", and most of this relates perfectly to the politically correct wackos and fanatics....
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Declared by never PC on Tuesday, June 13, 2017
where are my musicians out there practicing enough to obtain the big guns (logic; protools)
RANDOM UNSAVED QUIT/SHUT DOWN. NEED I SAY MORE???
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Declared by aggravated musician trying to edit on Monday, August 11, 2014
You stuck up third wave feminist harpie!
You know fucking well the office rules says that flash drives are not to be inserted in office computers, so why did you do it? And why do you think I should be responsible for your reckless decision? I told you my flash drive is clean, but I DID NOT SAY YOU HAVE TO...
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Declared by You suck and you know it on Sunday, April 30, 2017