Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoHow does an iPod define your love for music?
How does a pair of Nike's define how well u ran this morning?
Why do you need some other guy's name on ur underwear?
How does giving flowers (and a huge list of more girly stuff) on Valentine's Day define ur love towards your partner?
Do you...
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Declared by KC on Sunday, October 7, 2007
You invade the privacy of every human being on the planet daily. You have worked hard to keep your operations secret. But now we know what you are doing, and we shall not tolerate it. We shall use the full force of the law to bring you to your knees. The Holy War on the NSA continues!!!
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 31, 2017
I call for the violent death of the infedel who believes not in sane process or the divine power of business intelligence.
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Declared by Kelly Berger on Thursday, October 25, 2007
Spheres are superior. There will be no debate. Those with edges shall be wiped from existence.
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Declared by The Sphere on Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Fuck you! You fat, rude fuck. Insulting others and sounding like a rude fat fuck all the time.
Oh, but when we're rude to you about your fucking fat and ugly body it's wrong? And you get angry?
You are literally so depressed with your own life you suspect any and everything, and you think the...
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Declared by Someone who regrets ever befriending you on Monday, March 13, 2017
She just called and asked if she can come by and pick up her stuff. Should I have told her that I threw it all away the day she left? Probably.
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Declared by Damian on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I declare absolute destruction of evil on you. You got a preview with the "twins" and your house falling into the ocean. You are the most miserable beast and your day will come. You are a disgusting beastly awful non-human being and you will pay for your crimes.
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Declared by Be afraid on Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Jihad infinity on you! Sorry 300 lb fat lazy bitch! Hope you choke on a ham sandwich.
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Declared by Short fuse on Sunday, January 13, 2013
fuck you for trying to kill yourself after everything and you leave me a one sentence goodbye.. no.. fuck you..
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Declared by mom on Sunday, December 10, 2017
FUCK YOU CUNT YOURE GONNA BURN AT THE END OF MY STICK YOU FUCK
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Gawd-danmit! Will get all 5 of your followers online to shut the hell up? We get it. They like you. It's even a little creepy how much they like you. But no amount of shouting from their parent's basements is going to convince the majority of Americans to vote for you.
Does the system suck? You bet....
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Declared by Kick The Donkey on Tuesday, October 16, 2007
It's bad enough you woke me up at 1 in the fucking morning but you have the gall to keep me up for 30 consecutive GODdamn minutes. I cannot describe how many unseemly things I want to do to you. It would be slow, painful. Like melting you over some computer wreckage to make you feel at home. Maybe you'd like...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, January 15, 2017
is this how this workds
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Declared by janlouw on Wednesday, September 27, 2017
You beat the fuck out of my mother, then when she left you, she still had the heart to try and let you get to know me, and you refused time and time again. You spoke to me once in the first 11 years of my life. Then, the first time you met me, all you could do was trash-talk me to my mother, even though my...
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Declared by Finally Changing My Name on Monday, October 8, 2007
The level of treatment I have received from our parents compared to you is extremely unfair. You have been handed everything you have and have not had to work very hard for what you have. Things always came easy to you, whether it was getting a cushy job that does not require a lot of hard work or, our...
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Declared by Ikkin on Monday, October 24, 2016
Weirdly, she thinks I'm out to "get" her - that I mean to do harm. This is not true. What she does for a living doesn't mean anything to me. I'm just there in order to enjoy myself. I bear no ill will towards her. It's her job, her profession - and that's great. I'm not her competition. I'm just there to...
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Declared by anonymous lady on Sunday, May 21, 2017
They are always thinking that they are better than me and calling me names! AAAAAAAAAAARG!
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, February 20, 2009
Dear fucking asshole who happens to be my boss,
FUCK YOU. You are the worst fucking boss I've ever had. Never have I had so many put-downs by one person. You're supposed to manage me and mold me into a better employee. Instead, you belittle me and make me feel like shit each week.
FUCK YOU! I declare...
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Declared by Heather on Tuesday, January 15, 2013
I study for 6 days, about 4 hours a day for 50 minutes of confusion and agony. I discover too late that I didn't study the right things and get a C - what the hell?!?! JUST MAKE SENSE YOU FREAKING PIECE OF PAPER, YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!!!
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Declared by John on Tuesday, September 25, 2007
If you get a boob job EXPECT PEOPLE TO LOOK! Quit being so idiotic about it, it's a free country, and if you walk outside, prepared to be looked at.
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, October 8, 2009