Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoGet real. The truth is that there is a huge majority of people who masturbate, in fact, there are less people who don't.
The UK Health Board even encourages it.
Now, go fuck yourself, assholes. DO IT. NOW.
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Declared by Hey, Masturbator! on Friday, December 11, 2009
To you goes the BIGGEST jihad! Stop trying to be a jew. It's really annoying. You don't have a "jew fro" no matter how much you try telling yourself that you do. Just because all of your friends got bat mitzfahed, doesn't mean that you can parade around like Larry David. Larry David is funny, you are not....
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Declared by Babe on Thursday, December 31, 2009
You dumb shit...you really think I'd go fuck you step dad?! are you living in Days of our Lives or something? I WORK FOR THE FUCKEN MAN!! HIS LETTING ME RENT A FLAT FROM HIM!!! i dont shit where i eat. godanm retard!! FIY...your step dad is old ugly and, unlike you, I DONT GIVE A SHIT if he has money!! GROW...
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Declared by lilith on Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Why can't I just go out and fucking be called a man without people looking at my driver's license and being like "no ur a woman". JIHAD ON YOU
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, January 12, 2015
2 Thessalonians 3:11
For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are BUSYBODIES.
Deuteronomy 19:16
If a false witness rise up against any man to testify against him [that which is] WRONG
Judges 11:27
Wherefore I have not sinned against thee,...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, July 24, 2011
Your food is to unhealthy! I know a person called dhor, he is addicted to mcdonalds and teamboxes! He eat like 3 times mcdonalds a day!
JIHAD ON YOU MCDONALDS
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Declared by dhors health consulent on Saturday, May 18, 2013
A jihad upon you for writing buggy code
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Declared by Ben on Monday, October 8, 2007
So tired and bored of shallow and stupid gay men, that are convinced that lifestyle has anything to do with who they decide to sleep with. Isn't it bad enough that as a gay man I've got a chance with less than 10% of the population to begin with? Now 90% of this 10% happen to be idiots. So bored of it.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
Durka Durka Durka ... Muhummad ... Jihad!
This is for Fat Tony, and he deserves a Jihad due to his lack of "Fat" and his name not even remotly being Tony...
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Declared by MH... on Monday, October 8, 2007
You deaf people are the fucking rudest people on the fucking planet.
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Declared by a person who can hear shit. on Monday, October 8, 2007
You have discrased the holy religeon of the Islam with your lack of knowledge of the Koran. Marrying a believer does not make you Islamic, nor does dressing like one either. You are still an infidel in the face of Allah. To regain your faith and prove yourself you must go on a pilgramidge to Mecca....
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, October 11, 2007
You're all a bunch of poserish monkeys who want to elieve you're cool when you haven't had a fucking original thought in your your empty headed lives. Especially my jailbait slut of a cousin. Loser.
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Declared by Chink Hater on Sunday, October 21, 2007
For being a complete assfart penis.
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Declared by George W. Bush on Tuesday, March 11, 2008
I am declaring a Jihad on my job and all customers pissing me off each day with their ridiculous complaints!!!
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Declared by J-M AKA Evilness on Tuesday, September 9, 2008
FUCK YOU. you don't tell me it's my fucking responsibility to ask about my own health issues such as hepatitis. jesus fucking christ im only sixteen! which fucking 16 year old would worry about getting hepatitis from eating a bunch of clams?! fuck you, trying to pin it on me, it's my duty i'm old enough?...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, November 29, 2008
You, my poor friend are the one possessed by the Cake! The only sin I will ever commit is the inhalation of your world view. I will banish you to the recesses of the universe, where the light of every star and galaxy twinkles as bright as the faintest night star.
O vengeful Pie! May you lend me the strength...
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Declared by WowThatsAwesomeQT on Wednesday, June 10, 2009
I hate that they beat us to the hate!
JIHAD!!!!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, July 12, 2010
YOU FUCKEN TWO BIT WHORE!!!!!! you bitch and complain when you so call "friends" fuck you over with guys you loved and then , you godanm retard, you go DO THE SAME FUCKEN THING!! you are the most wothless sum i have ever come across. I hope you fucken get AIDS or that that pretty face of yours melts off. I...
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Declared by Lilith on Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Lose the attitude and be more professional you bitch. I never am rude to you so don't be rude to me. I can easily quit this job and put you on the spot to find someone new. Maybe that will give you a reality check and realize that bitchiness and being unprofessional is not a way to keep an employee.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 18, 2010
Why does every single friggen person have a need to gossip about me?
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Declared by people on Sunday, July 17, 2011