Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI am declaring Jihad on you for lack of coffee making
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Declared by Brian Bin Laden on Thursday, October 11, 2007
Strike the infidels that inhabit consumer support. Their service is a blasphemy before Allah. Obviously, evolution is not working here.
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Declared by Anonymous Victim/Martyr on Tuesday, October 30, 2007
My calves are sore because some phone monkey lost his car!
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Declared by Hodge on Sunday, November 11, 2007
Hey You,
Yes you. I know who you are the one that she calls "You Know Who" the one who puts a wedge between me and my former friend. I don't really blame you I know that it was not completely your fault. But why do you have to be here now. I hate knowing that we're in the same room. I know you saw me look...
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Declared by PJ on Friday, November 30, 2007
I declare a jihad on you because you see dead people in the audience in New Mexico!
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Screw you, with your affirmative action, legacy loving, and "unusual/messed up" supporting (you let in a guy/girl/thing because he/she/it was transgender, and you don't let me in??) policies. What kind of people are you anyway - deciding the fates of students who are better than you to a school that is...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I said Hello but what I ment was FUCK YOU!
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Declared by fuck you all and your mother on Friday, April 24, 2009
You're on TV fuckin' all the time!!! Everytime I open Tv it's israel did this, they did that...wah wah wah
I want some fuckin' peace....I don want CNN n BBC going batshiat insane all the time....
So stop whatever ur doing...enough of friggin wars all the time
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Declared by sdg on Sunday, April 4, 2010
Ur so stupid you don't even know child support has been waiting to go back years and years for you. They were waiting for cooperation wellll now they have it. Asshole! I asked for little and got even less! Now you will be getting what you deserve!
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, July 16, 2011
Really? I know why you want to be my "friend" and its just all for your convenience. The reason I'm so blunt with you isn't because I like you or am comfortable with you. It's because you're faker than Heidi Montag's tits and you're a bitch. to boot. Don't talk about me to my friends. Don't try to come to me...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, September 10, 2011
My only wish is that you get stoned in a public market for spamming me.
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Declared by Gay Allah on Wednesday, February 22, 2012
why do you butt fuck?!
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Declared by wanting to know on Monday, November 12, 2012
Hey! I don't care who the hell sees this. I am angry and I've been holding it in for a very long fucking time. Do you know how the fuck it feels to fucking keep quiet while you fucking know that people are fucking walking the fuck all over you? No! Because you're only fucking worried about yourselves. Don't...
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Declared by Angry Quiet Bitch on Tuesday, November 8, 2016
For being a true cocksucker and fuckface - eat shit packy
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, October 25, 2013
Being the team lead on this Christianity project is getting harder by the day. It's mainly this Judas character. He always seems like he's plotting something. All he's ever working towards is gaining more wealth. I'm starting to think he might be a fucking Jew. A dyed-in-the-wool Jew right here, working on...
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Declared by Jesus of Nazareth on Monday, September 10, 2007
I was just a boy when the infidels came into my village in their Black Hawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fire...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Oh, you self-righteous expression of intolerance and ignorance fused together in some socially atrophied amalgam of petulance the likes of which has never before been seen on a global scale, you who afford an ethos of violence and vengeance under the guise of divine retribution, promising a salvation which...
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Declared by Conor on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Burn D&G FUCK!
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Declared by God on Sunday, October 7, 2007
My Girlfriend
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, October 7, 2007
I declare holy war on all of the unattractive men at Rothberg!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 29, 2007