Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoReally? I know why you want to be my "friend" and its just all for your convenience. The reason I'm so blunt with you isn't because I like you or am comfortable with you. It's because you're faker than Heidi Montag's tits and you're a bitch. to boot. Don't talk about me to my friends. Don't try to come to me...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, September 10, 2011
i hope you get smacked by karma, you ruin every perfect day with your face.
i may have messed up once BUT YOU MESSED UP 16 YEARS OF MY LIFE
i hate how you think you own everything and anything in this world.... I AM BETTER THAN YOU WILL EVER BE
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, September 17, 2011
My only wish is that you get stoned in a public market for spamming me.
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Declared by Gay Allah on Wednesday, February 22, 2012
You fucking bitch. I tried so hard, waking up at the ass Crack of dawn to do my makeup and shit, and you come prancing by, and with a finger snap he likes you. What. The. HELL. and the boy, your a real douchbag. Fucking crusty ass can take it up the ass. Jokes on you, you just got jihad bitches. Have fun in...
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, December 3, 2015
To everyone at the wine tasting table at last weekend's wedding:
All of you were gushing about the wine selection and how delicious and wonderful it was. Bullshit! It was disgusting because wine is always disgusting. It tastes like chemicals.
When you say you "love" a glass of wine, aren't you really...
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Declared by Ashley on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
My Girlfriend
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, October 7, 2007
i'm going to let two of your tyres down. then i'm going to burn your decking. then i'm going to paint your surfboards with tar. then i'm going to kick dents in that gokart in your front yard. yeah.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, October 17, 2007
10fold Jihads would not be enough to declare on the infidels in Congress who have dragged their effing feet on this G.D. bailout package. While they sit and bicker, my meager portfolio dwindles more and more as my ulcer grows larger. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the armpits of all you in...
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Declared by JihadMonger on Friday, September 26, 2008
Hey you low life dried up old prune. Still working your ass off trying to get ahead? Still scratching your ass and picking your nose with the same finger? C'mon, drop the socks and grab yo cock and pump yourself up out of there. Oh! I forgot, you don't have one. HA, HA,HA,HA!
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Declared by Chuck on Saturday, November 22, 2008
Learn to shut your FUCKING MOUTH! The truth is that over here one advertisment does NOT represent a whole country.
Want something to whinge about? Whinge about the amount of crap on T.V. now. Go fuck yourselves, assholes.
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Declared by Not So Racist Australian on Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Will be rated DOWN!
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Declared by EagleYS on Thursday, October 28, 2010
LOVE IT
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Declared by BOB on Friday, April 20, 2012
You pompous ass. I found out you were practicing your sexual harassment skills on the girls in the office and next thing I know I'm being forced to leave cause you got scrred. I hope your tiny lawyer special parts shrivel and fall off over the course of the next three weeks.
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Declared by David on Sunday, September 9, 2007
i hate my job. u suck
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Declared by vaibhav on Wednesday, October 10, 2007
jihad on firefox, your subsystem leaks more than a bombed out oil-rig!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
What the fuck is wrong with you!
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Luxembourg is the cockroach of Europe. You read about it getting conquered, turn a few pages in your history book, and BAM! It's there again! Well we will not stand for it! We will rise against you and divide you between France, Belgium and Germany! At long last the pimple of Europe will be popped! LONG LIVE...
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Declared by Norfolk Liberation Organization on Saturday, November 3, 2007
Hey You,
Yes you. I know who you are the one that she calls "You Know Who" the one who puts a wedge between me and my former friend. I don't really blame you I know that it was not completely your fault. But why do you have to be here now. I hate knowing that we're in the same room. I know you saw me look...
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Declared by PJ on Friday, November 30, 2007
I declare a jihad on you because you see dead people in the audience in New Mexico!
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Be a good Christian and think about feeding the homeless, teaching the uneducated, and cleaning up our planet. Keep your hypocritical bullshit out of my bedroom, out of my uterus, out of the govenment and out of my house. The only thing destroying marriage as an institution is your constant cheating and...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, May 3, 2009