Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoYou're a dick which is funny considering the size of yours...
and I faked it
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 12, 2011
Only in North America will someone claim to be your best friend then burn you, disrespect, and sell you out in front of others.
I have mmmannny of these so called friends. One would trip over his own ego to look cool in front of new people he would meet. He would make me look like shit in front of...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, June 14, 2011
To everyone at the wine tasting table at last weekend's wedding:
All of you were gushing about the wine selection and how delicious and wonderful it was. Bullshit! It was disgusting because wine is always disgusting. It tastes like chemicals.
When you say you "love" a glass of wine, aren't you really...
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Declared by Ashley on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Get. Out. Of. My. WAY!!! Why are you all awake and driving this early in the morning? This is my one chance to make it to the office in a reasonable amount of time and you're ruining it!!! There's no reason why it should take me 1.5 hours to drive 28 miles at 5AM...
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Declared by Dave on Friday, September 14, 2007
I declare holy war on all of the unattractive men at Rothberg!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 29, 2007
Luxembourg is the cockroach of Europe. You read about it getting conquered, turn a few pages in your history book, and BAM! It's there again! Well we will not stand for it! We will rise against you and divide you between France, Belgium and Germany! At long last the pimple of Europe will be popped! LONG LIVE...
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Declared by Norfolk Liberation Organization on Saturday, November 3, 2007
Hey You,
Yes you. I know who you are the one that she calls "You Know Who" the one who puts a wedge between me and my former friend. I don't really blame you I know that it was not completely your fault. But why do you have to be here now. I hate knowing that we're in the same room. I know you saw me look...
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Declared by PJ on Friday, November 30, 2007
I declare a jihad on you because you see dead people in the audience in New Mexico!
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Hello again you assholes. I am back on the forums again and there is nothing you can do about it. You scumbags banned me and my friends for absolutely nothing. You are nothing but a bunch of liars and bullshitters. Need a life don't you. Sorry, you are not capable of having one. Screw all of you, And see you...
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Declared by jacquie on Friday, October 17, 2008
You, my poor friend are the one possessed by the Cake! The only sin I will ever commit is the inhalation of your world view. I will banish you to the recesses of the universe, where the light of every star and galaxy twinkles as bright as the faintest night star.
O vengeful Pie! May you lend me the strength...
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Declared by WowThatsAwesomeQT on Wednesday, June 10, 2009
You're on TV fuckin' all the time!!! Everytime I open Tv it's israel did this, they did that...wah wah wah
I want some fuckin' peace....I don want CNN n BBC going batshiat insane all the time....
So stop whatever ur doing...enough of friggin wars all the time
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Declared by sdg on Sunday, April 4, 2010
Jihad on you's co-founder. Don't you check the e-mails?
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Lose the attitude and be more professional you bitch. I never am rude to you so don't be rude to me. I can easily quit this job and put you on the spot to find someone new. Maybe that will give you a reality check and realize that bitchiness and being unprofessional is not a way to keep an employee.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 18, 2010
Go to fucking hell .
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Declared by 101 on Sunday, March 27, 2011
Why can't I just go out and fucking be called a man without people looking at my driver's license and being like "no ur a woman". JIHAD ON YOU
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, January 12, 2015
They screwed up my life. I mean it really says something about you when the valedictorian hates your guts.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, October 2, 2013
i hate you
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, May 2, 2017
You pompous ass. I found out you were practicing your sexual harassment skills on the girls in the office and next thing I know I'm being forced to leave cause you got scrred. I hope your tiny lawyer special parts shrivel and fall off over the course of the next three weeks.
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Declared by David on Sunday, September 9, 2007
i hate my job. u suck
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Declared by vaibhav on Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Just because you think you're dating him doesn't mean he thinks so. You thought you were dating him when he was dating Amy . . . You thought you were dating him when he was dating me . . . . He thinks he's single now, but you still think you're dating him . . . . And you called me the crazy one?
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Declared by DictatorForLife on Monday, October 8, 2007