Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI hate the fact my horrible mother seldom sleeps. It's now about 5 minutes before 6:00 a.m. on Thursday, and my hideous mom has been awake since 10:00 a.m. on Tuesday. During this whole time, she's been pacing, reading a book, dragging a chair against the tile floor, and constantly flushing the toilet and...
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Declared by anon on Thursday, June 4, 2015
you may be hard to hit, but I will meet you on the field of battle and destroy you. you cannot hide from me
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Declared by Jr. StinkMeister on Monday, September 10, 2007
your mind is thinking wrong.
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Declared by aLJar3d on Wednesday, October 3, 2007
This Jihad for me and my classmates...
We will pass IS lessons
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
jeebus motherfucking shit, I go in there, with my dad, both looking decent and these fucktards are too busy walking around wankering themselves than helping me. I WAS looking at a Toyota Tacoma morons, now, I'm going to the Mini Dealership where my dad went, into the burlap sack of violence with you!
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Declared by Mini Dude 32 on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
I put myself out there and you shut me down.
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Declared by Tuks on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Nuff Said.
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Declared by Hater on Friday, October 12, 2007
You win every bet that we make, goddamnit. At least the redsox won. Jihad on you for taking my money!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 29, 2007
Damned fucking liar.
A jihad on you for attempting to hide your true right wing tendancies, a jihad on you for conning the public into "moving on" from the rape and pillage of our country that your party was responsible for.
And a jihad on you for your horrible, stage-managed "eco-trainers".
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Declared by Mrs T on Tuesday, November 13, 2007
This is only to let you know that when you shot an innocent human being whom you do not know but only because a fucken bastard told you to do it your are an animal who is working in the American troops in Iraq who does not deserve to live anymore..but after you know that your stupid president is an...
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Declared by A human being has a mind on Sunday, September 21, 2008
There's no excuse for rude, verbally abusive behavior from retail sales staff. Yesterday morning, June 27, 2017, I stopped by Crossroads Trading Co. in Studio City, California (a community in Los Angeles) in order to sell them two pairs of shoes that were in good condition, and I was treated horribly. The...
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Declared by insulted customer on Wednesday, June 28, 2017
I never asked for any form of romance. I never wanted love. There some people in this world that are'nt meant for love and I knew from the begining that I was one of them. But you convinced me otherwise and I was foolish enough to believe you. I let you raise my hopes so high and then I catch you with her!?...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, March 15, 2011
You have no idea how to do the things you pay me to do however you are consistently setting timeframes which are impossible to reach working an 8 hour day.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, September 10, 2007
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits for delivering this devil called IPOD SHUFFLE to me in such a deteriorated state that it was possessed by all manner of devils and spells. I had to spend two hours updating software and running reset utilities in order to finally get this beast to work....
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Declared by Mullah Omar on Wednesday, October 10, 2007
The British mandate is over for decades now. Time to advance! Stop ordering innocent citizens to fill out over-complicated forms demanding old receipts and bank statements.
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, March 28, 2010
Lose the attitude and be more professional you bitch. I never am rude to you so don't be rude to me. I can easily quit this job and put you on the spot to find someone new. Maybe that will give you a reality check and realize that bitchiness and being unprofessional is not a way to keep an employee.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 18, 2010
Heathrow 'Express', I jihad you with your own shitty slow wireless while I sit waiting to move the last 100 fucking metres into Paddington and while five slow trains pass us. You fucks
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, December 12, 2010
2 Thessalonians 3:11
For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are BUSYBODIES.
Deuteronomy 19:16
If a false witness rise up against any man to testify against him [that which is] WRONG
Judges 11:27
Wherefore I have not sinned against thee,...
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, July 24, 2011
why do you butt fuck?!
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Declared by wanting to know on Monday, November 12, 2012
Declaro la guerra contra la procrastinación porque me está volviendo loco el no tener ganas de hacer nada, de hecho, tengo que dejar esta jihad para más rato porque tengo que hacer otra cosa
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, October 7, 2007