Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoThe Ar-mega-don cometh! Allah akbar!
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Declared by Wang Chung on Friday, October 12, 2007
I'm not interested in your calls. I do not pay monthly fees so you will feel free to call me and screw my mind with your offers. And please do your homework, and check if I'm married before suggesting that you talk to my wife.
The TV show I was watching when you called is way more important than your...
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Declared by Fuck all telemarketers on Friday, November 2, 2007
No I won't come over for a fucking goodnight kiss when I can't even sleep over! Do you know how much gas costs!? You'd better-you're frickin' Middle Eastern! And furthermore, work was done at 6, soccer was done at 8, why the fuck are you calling me at 10?
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, November 17, 2008
I think I love you.
Tell you? I can't.
Hold it in? I don't think I can.
"You keep me from falling apart"
I want to be in your grasp forever.
You're all I need.
I never though I could move on from the last person but then I met you and I got myself together and picked up the pieces that were shattered...
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Declared by LFSJ on Thursday, September 10, 2009
JIHAD ON YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS!!!
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Declared by MO on Tuesday, April 19, 2011
What is your problem dude? You had the opportunity to hang with an amazing guy, and you blew it by deciding to get fucked up drunk with your friends!
I hope your friends will keep you company in rehab...and I hope that you eventually figure out that you're nowhere near as good looking as you think you are.
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Declared by Marc on Sunday, October 7, 2007
so maybe theyre right. maybe you are like me. we do tend to want revenge, and we both dont take shit from anyone. we stand up for ourselves. but im getting better at doing it in a less bitchy way, except if im around you. for some reason, you bring out the absolute worst in me and i dont know why. maybe its...
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Declared by twentyone. on Saturday, December 6, 2008
You mofos took all this TARP money and spent it on your own bonuses and lavish offices. Where is the liquidity in the market? The US government should go after you crooks and seize all your assets. And if you don't like it, flee the country and don't ever come back.
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, January 23, 2009
I'm sure you make enough money that you don't need to charge me for rescheduling my appointment. Your office is ugly and disorganized and you need to turn your hearing aids up. How are you supposed to be a therapist when you can't even understand what your patients are saying, you geriatric mess? Your breath...
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Declared by Rebecca on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
tease
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, October 30, 2009
your so fucking boring.... and dad get the fuck off your fat jewbag asshole you fucking nobcheese. and mum dont remind me of homework when im having a good time. im gonna fucking go and ruin my life just to make you dissapointed and you can shove your education and youre pocket money up youre ass coz i will...
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Declared by matt on Sunday, September 12, 2010
For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Matthew 16:26
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, July 17, 2011
I declare jihad on Political Correctness, if it's legal, I'll do it! I say midjet, I say Founding Fathers(not Framers), I say black people, I say Asians, I say whatever I want! Leave me alone!
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Declared by Jeff on Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I am starting to see just how fake some people can be!
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, July 13, 2011
You're late for a movie at the cinema which you don't want to miss. You ram the gas pedal at the red lights just to get there before it starts only to find out, THAT THERE ARE TEN THOUSAND ADS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MOVIE??
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Declared by Cum Sponge Bob Square Asshole on Friday, February 1, 2008
Watch your back, High school is going to end and what will you have left? How we all wished the stars would align for you...
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Declared by -A- on Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Being gay
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, February 22, 2012
this is hard
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 2, 2013
EVERYTHING IS HARD
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 2, 2013
FUCK THE POLICE!!
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Declared by Fuck Bush Too on Monday, October 8, 2007