Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoFor not buying me a shiny D:
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Declared by Wee Sillyface on Thursday, December 9, 2010
I'm sick and tired of having to layer clothing like an astronaut before I leave the house. The wind then attempts to flay any exposed skin off my body. The next day it's seventy fucking degrees outside.
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, February 25, 2011
Hey Douche Bag. Wanna play games with me? Check for an I.E.D. under your bed, your car, even your mailbox shit head.
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Declared by Jackie Jihad on Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Trying to force me to love you after you turned my life into a living hell isn't going to work. Neither is telling me that I'm not really angry at you and that you know how I feel more than I do. Also, lying to me the first time you see me in months after I've told you you need to work if you want me to...
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Declared by Oh sorry I forgot I'm just a dumb bitch on Sunday, July 29, 2012
I put a jihad on your for your insolence!!!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, June 25, 2012
POMIS... wtf is up with your students?!?!? they all got their heads up their arses. wtf??????? get your fushit together
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Declared by Angry Outsider on Saturday, July 14, 2012
Why is it that when you like someone, they hate you back?
You can't face them since you don't want to ruin their life. JIHAD APON YOU FILTHY INFIDEL!!
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Declared by SweetieShareyMoonsugar on Wednesday, April 30, 2014
JIHAD ON YOU, JIHAD ON YOUR MOTHER, JIHAD ON YOUR COW
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Declared by jihad jhon on Tuesday, April 21, 2015
To all the people of the world that live to be offended, and to seek redress or revenge for that perceived offense, I declare jihad on you. Try dealing with yourself before you go unilaterally clean up the world and remake it in your own image. Give it a rest.
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Declared by Morgan on Sunday, October 7, 2007
For working 247 in ibanking instead of startuping!
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Declared by laurence on Monday, October 8, 2007
In the name of Allah the most allmighty, praised be His name and the name of his prophet, I herewith declare Jihad on the number PI. For only He is from eternity to eternity, not some diabolic number. PI, you wait until we get you and we will show you some infinity, wretched number that you are. And...
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Declared by kauder.welsch on Friday, December 21, 2007
Emily, praise Allah that he sent me a vision last night in the midst of my drunken stupor that revealed the innermost workings of your maniacal brain. This morning, with head pounding due to the prior night's overindulgence, I spoke with the mullahs regarding you. They agreed that you are an idiot!
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Declared by Omar The Dummy on Tuesday, April 28, 2009
for coming up with stupid suggestions on Globe branding.
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Declared by Ibrahim Khan on Friday, March 26, 2010
I declare a jihad on you horsey people who give your kids (aka Spawn of Satan) horses at 11 years old and send them out as some kind of jihad against the ordinary public. Your spawn of Satan have no control over these horses and are a danger to society at large.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, November 21, 2011
jihad
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, January 6, 2013
YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU AND YOUR BIG ASS EGO AND YOUR FUCKING ATTITUDE. FUCK YOU YOU BITCHING ASSFUCK. YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT YOU BETTER LEARN SOME RESPECT YOU FUCKING BIMBO. THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS YOU ASSHOLE AND I HOPE IT STAYS THAT WAY UNLESS YOU FUCKING CHANGE. FUCKING EGO...
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Declared by K on Wednesday, September 10, 2014
You have no idea how to do the things you pay me to do however you are consistently setting timeframes which are impossible to reach working an 8 hour day.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, September 10, 2007
Putting aside the theme parks and the tourists, Orlando is one of the shittiest places I've ever lived. The people, the (lack of) culture, and the (lack of) good food! And could they have a decent gay club for crying out loud!
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Declared by Brian on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Tim Ireland is a useless low-life with nothing to do all day but annoy other people. Go to hell, Tim.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, October 10, 2007
I declare jihad on you scam artist piece of shit mother fuckers I hate you.I can't believe I worked for this jackoff place the manager bill was a fucking asshole always yelling at people actting like he was tough fuck you pussy.If people go to the one on baltimore pike in middletown township next to...
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Declared by Me on Monday, March 3, 2008